The Four categories women group men into.
A woman of average attractiveness has a lot of men in her life, and more men still want to be in her life daily. Hence, she puts them into different categories, to know the level of attention, respect, and love she has to give to the different men in her life. For a woman knows she cannot treat every man who is in her life the same way.
There are basically four categories, a woman could insert a man into, namely;
- Friend/ Fan Category
- Authority Category
- Lover Category
- Commitment Category
The Friend/Fan Category. This is for men who she considers as friends. Someone who she’s comfortable to hang out with, shop with, and ask favor from. A man who is a great listener, who always thinks about her welfare, and who’s always there for her, however she doesn’t consider having sexual intimacy with him.
Fan category came into existence because of the emergence of Social Media. The guys which she slots in here are those ones she wants them to follow, like and comment on her posts on social media. The common strategy girls use in gathering fans is giving a guy her social media handle, instead of her phone number.
Now, this is usually the largest category among the four categories. Ladies love to slide guys in this category. First of all, they love the attention which they get from their male friends and fans.
Secondly, the more friends and fans she has, the more favors she could get.
- A lady could easily get a Cinema movie ticket of that new banger movie, if she has a male friend or fan who is in charge of the tickets.
- She could easily get entrance into a very popular club, if the club manager or bouncer is her male friend or fan.
- A girl could easily win all these social media pageantry, if she has lots of fans and friends
Hence, this is the easiest category to enter, because most girls would willingly accept you.
In this category you find the friend zoned guys, her platonic male friends from her class, schools, work place, neighborhood etc.
This is the category of men, ladies give the least of their attention, respect and love to.
It’s important to note they’re another type of male friends a woman has; these are males who made her their friends. Most times, she sees them as potential mate; deep within, she wants something more and hopes that those male friends make a move some day. You can actually say that these male friends kind of friend zoned her. Now, a woman respects and gives her attention to these kind of male friends.
The Authority Category. A lady has a lot of respect for men in this category. These are men she looks up to, men she takes and heeds to their advice. These include her mentors, teachers, senior colleagues, lecturers, Boss, Pastors and so on.
The truth is women love men in authority; men who lead and inspire others. It’s not actually women’s fault; it’s natural, and biologically wired in them. Hence, it is usual they might develop feelings for these men in this category as time goes on.
However, if the lady is in a happy relationship, or the man she see as an authority figure is not interested in her; nothing is likely to happen between two of them. On the other hand, if she’s single or in a bad relationship, or the man is interested in her, some things might happen which will move the man into the lover or commitment category.
This is the reason you usually hear about these Pastors and members rumors; or boss and secretary rumors. Like I said “rumors,” don’t come for my head now!
Lol. To the next category jare
The Lover Category. The men found here are usually captivating, mysterious, adventurous, seductive, non-judgmental, and irresistible. Yeah, James Bond kind of guys.
This is the kind of guys, girls really do love, however they have one problem, just like James Bond, you can’t tie these guys down into a commitment easily.
She knows this fact, so she just has fun with these kind of guys with no feelings attached.
Since, the guys found here are usually non-judgmental, she’s usually free with them; she expresses her true self and all her naughtiness with no fear of being judged. Hence, these guys are the ones who really know the lady.
However, guys in this category do not last long in a lady’s life. It’s either the guy goes off radar suddenly, or the girl starts catching feelings and starts pushing for a commitment from the guy, then they disagree and break-up. Out of the four categories, this is the one which requires much guts and courage from the man to enter.
In this category you can find the friends-with-benefits, side guys, and fake besties.
The Commitment Category. The perfect man, you know that “dear future hubby kind of guy.” This man is the one who listens to her like a friend, leads and inspires her like a man of authority, while he’s seductive, romantic and non-judgmental like a lover. But even a lady knows that this exact man is hard to find.
So whenever she sees a guy who’s a ‘little’ like her perfect man, her brain screams “serious boyfriend or husband material!”
So when she is with these guys he considers worthy of having a serious relationship with; she puts up her best behavior, and carries herself with the standard the society has set for so called “good girlfriend or wife material.”
She does this so that those guys will also consider her worthy of a serious girlfriend, and possibly wife.
An average girl has all these four categories of men in her life. Although, they might scream, shout and disagree especially about the lover category. A lady cannot just come openly and admit she has lovers, society will judge her, and label her a slut.
Personally, I think is quite unfair to them, but you know Life is not fair. Men also have their share of the unfairness in life. Okay! Enough of the digressing, let’s get back to business.
Now, the truth is that a man is in control of the category a woman slots him into. Women often categorize men very fast due to the lots of options they have. So how can get slotted into the category you want? You’ll find the answer you’re looking for just below.
HOW TO GET SLOTTED INTO THE CATEGORY YOU WANT IN A WOMAN’S LIFE
THE FRIEND CATEGORY.
I do have beneficial female friends who I don’t have any sexual activities with. Some guys may wonder the benefits of having female friends. There’re a lot of benefits, but I’ll list some here;
- When you’ve female friends especially those pretty ones, you’ll easily get pretty girls as your lovers and girlfriends. This is due to social proof. Women tend to want and seek what other women want and seek. Hence, if you’ve female friends, it tells other girls you’re desirable to women, then they become attracted to you too. And when a girl is already attracted to you, it makes things so easy.
- If you’re not used to hanging out with pretty model like ladies, and you usually act weird whenever you’re around them. Having pretty female friends would help you feel more comfortable around pretty girls.
- If you’re not aware yet, an average girl has more connections than an average boy of same age. So if you’ve female friends, you’re likely to get some vital connections too.
Like I said earlier, there a lot of benefits of having a platonic female friend, but for the post not to get too lengthy, I’ll have to stop with that three.
However, I see most guys making female friends the wrong way; some end up being used just like I talked in the post “Is she really your bestie or is she just using you?”
The best way to make a girl your friend is to give her the feeling that you are the one who want her as a friend in the first place; In other words, you made her your friend, and not her who made you her friend. Trust me there’s a difference.
Most times, a guy will see a lady, and start chasing her, and when he recognizes that he can’t get her, he decides to settle as her friend. In this type of friendship, the girl will always know you chased her, and that automatically gives her a higher hand in that friendship. You don’t want that.
How to Make Female Friends the Right way: the four categories women slot men
Firstly, for you to make valuable female friends, you’ve to become valuable yourself. You’ve to become an attractive guy who knows and offers to women their needs. A guy who is good at holding conversation with women; someone who can create emotional connection with ladies; who could seduce girls, someone with a cool and pleasing vibe. When women notices you’re a valuable guy, they’ll be more open to be your friend.
Secondly, you should remove your mind from having sex ever with the girl. The rule is if you want to have sex with her, never make her your friend. Why? Sex spoils friendship. That’s why a girl will probably NEVER sleep with a guy she friend zoned. So if you feel sexual attraction for a girl, make her your lover or girlfriend immediately, don’t make her a friend first. This in no way doesn’t mean you shouldn’t seduce your friend, on the contrary you should seduce her very often, however do not have sex with her. Seducing your female friend would make her think of you as a potential mate, which will always give you a upper hand in the friendship, unlike when you’re a woman’s friends on her own terms (like friend zone). She won’t consider you as a potential mate, hence she won’t respect you.
Now, when you see a lady you want to be friends with, approach her. It’s always best to use the indirect approach. Now, instead of inviting her to a personal date (like you would’ve done if you wanted her as a lover/girlfriend), invite her to a group date, something like hang out with your friends. Then after that group date, then invite her to a very casual personal date like a canteen. It is on this date you’ll try to get to know more about her, and creating a deep connection with her.
Now that’s how you make a female friend the right way.
THE AUTHORITY FIGURE
If you want a girl to see you as an authority figure, there are certain things you have to do. They include:
- Have value to offer/ something to teach her. You can’t be an authority figure in a woman’s life without offering value to her. A pastor offers spiritual guidance, a senior colleague offers some sort of mentorship to a junior female colleague. Hence, for you to be an authority figure to a woman, you must have a reasonable benefit to offer; a benefit she values and wants to obtain too.
- Never Chase Her. An authority figure is a powerful man, and powerful men don’t chase women. Women chase them instead. So, from the moment you meet her don’t chase her.
For Example: when you’re about to collect her number, don’t say;
You: Please can I have your number?
This is chasing, rather say something like:
You: You’re really fun to be with… we should hang out sometime; give me your number so that I could hit you up and we could set up a meet sometime.
Or when you’re trying to get her to do something for you, maybe get her to move to some place quieter with you. Don’t say;
You: Can we go over there, it’s quieter than here.
Rather say something like
[In the middle of conversation]
You: …so I’ve been fascinated with music since I was about a teenager—the thing about music— you know what dear, let’s move over there; it is a bit quieter than here. [And you stand up as you say this]
3. Be Scarce. To be an authority figure in a girl’s life; you’ve to be a scarce commodity in her life. She should know it’s not every time she wants to see you she can. This will make her value and appreciate it whenever you give her your attention. Therefore, if you’re always chatting up or calling a girl; she can’t see you as an authority figure. For she knows, authority figures are usually busy, they don’t have the luxury of time to be spending every time on a woman.
When you meet a girl newly, and you do these above three things; she would definitely see you as an authority figure who she would respect greatly.
THE LOVER CATEGORY
I personally call this category the James Bond category, because that’s who Bond is — women’s lover. Whenever, any of the bond girls are making love to James, they’re not doing it because he promised to commit to them or he’s their boyfriend or husband. They fully know James can’t commit to them; they know he can’t be easily tied down; but still go ahead because James Bond knows how to present himself as a Lover, and ONLY as a lover nothing more. So how you can you do this… is it possible? Yes it’s possible, however it’ll take some effort from you.
How to become women’s lover
- You’ve to become a sexy man. Let’s take a look at all the actors that have played the James Bond character. They’re all sexy men. Now don’t confuse sexiness with being good looking. Kiss Daniel might be naturally more handsome than Flavour. However, we both know who ladies think is sexier. Sexiness can be learned and developed.
For you to be a sexy man you’ve to improve your fundamentals (this include your personal grooming, dress sense, your body physique, and your tone of voice and so on). You should also learn how to use sexual humor on ladies; the art of seduction ; learn to create emotional connection with ladies; how to move fast and get women alone with you and escalate with them; how to actually be good in bed. Like I told you it would take some effort from you.
2. You’ll have to be nonjudgmental. You can’t be judging girls and be a lover to them. You can’t be thinking that all women who have casual sex with men are slut and loose, and expect to be women’s regular lover. If you’ve that mindset, you can’t hide it from girls, they’ll detect it. Your words and actions towards her would always give you away, and whenever they detect that, they’ll build up their walls and portray themselves as that good feminine creature who’s not interested in casual sex. No woman wants to be perceived as slut or loose.
For you to have casual sex often with ladies you must give them the idea that you’re not the judging kind of person, and you see nothing wrong with two adults having fun together, and you’ll definitely not see her as a cheap girl or slut after you two have had some casual sex. And most importantly, you won’t kiss and tell.
When you give girls this mindset about you, 90% of them will likely have casual sex with you, without considering you for commitment.
3. Disqualify yourself as a Boyfriend Material from the start. The truth is even if you’re a sexy man and you appear as a nonjudgmental guy to her, she’ll still delay having casual sex with you if she sees you’ll make a good boyfriend. Most girls will still not want to risk losing a guy who would have made an amazing boyfriend just because of 10 mins pleasure.
To avoid this, always disqualify yourself as a boyfriend material from the start. You can do this my implying to her that you’re emotionally unavailable for a relationship or you’re unstable.
You could tell you’re emotionally unavailable by telling her something like this:
Her: Why are you single?
You: I really love being single; I’m just addicted to the freedom which comes with being single.
You could tell her you’re an unstable guy by telling her something like this:
Her: So how long do you plan on staying here?
You: I’m not always around in a place for too long, I’m always on the move. So I don’t really know how long I’ll be here.
If you are able to apply these three points, most women would you see just as a lover to catch fun with. Remember, if any lady still refuses after applying these strategies, let her go, don’t chase.
THE COMMITMENT ZONE
I have already made a full post on this titled “how to get a girlfriend effortlessly.” So take a moment and read it through.
But in summary, if you want a lady to see you as a boyfriend material you should be charming, sweet, and challenging. Seduce her from the first date, tell her you’re single, and hint to her you value relationships however you can’t just jump into one. You really have to check out that post to understand it more. (Read it here)
Which category is the best among the four categories? From experience, the best category you should always aim for is the Lover category.
WHY I ADVISE GUYS TO AIM FOR THE LOVER CATEGORY
Most guys usually aim to be a girl’s friends, while they try to work their way up to being her lover or boyfriend. Some try to appear as an authority figure to a woman while they now try to become her lover or enter a relationship with her. While others portray themselves as perfect boyfriend/husband material.
However, only few guys go to women directly and make their intentions clear that they just want to be their lover. Well, because it’s the one which requires the highest risk and courage.
The truth is I’ve tried getting women by trying to be their friends first. I’ve also portrayed to be an authority figure to girls I wanted to have something with by offering to mentor them back then during my university days. I’ve also portrayed to be the perfect guy to be in a relationship with. But recently all I present to new women is I’m just a lover material.
First, I’ve found out that although is a little bit riskier to aim straight to become a woman’s lover; however when you eventually become her lover, you could EASILY enter the other categories.
- It is easier to make a girl your friend when you’re already sleeping with her, than to sleep with a girl who is your friend.
- And It is easier to make a girl see you as an authority figure when you’re already sleeping with her (as long as you add those three ingredients of being an authority figure to a woman which I mentioned earlier), than to sleep with a girl who sees you as an authority figure.
- It is much easier to make a girl you’re already sleeping with your girlfriend, than to make your girlfriend a lover. For I have seen couples who have dated for months but have not had sex, not that they decided that the relationship wouldn’t be sexual, but because most times the girl claims she’s not yet ready; and most of the times, that same girl is usually ready for another guy (her lover).
And all these I’ve found out from experience. You’ve to understand that every woman values her sexuality very much, and if a woman allows you to become her lover; to her she has given you something of a great value to her, and if she has given you that, she says to herself;
“…then she must love you very much,” and if she hasn’t, she says to herself, “…then she’s not that into you.”
Secondly, the men who truly know a girl is her lovers. A lady usually wears a mask whenever she’s with other categories of men, because of fear of being judged and labeled a slut. She’s usually freer with these lovers of hers because she knows they won’t judge her and she feels comfortable to tell them some of her past; like how many lovers she has had in the past, shows them her true naughty side. Trust me, EVERY LADY has a naughty side. Personally, I know there are no such thing as good girls – girls you see as good girls are either those who hide their naughty side from you or those who have not yet unleashed their naughty side.
So when you now make your lover your girlfriend, you’re 70% you know most things about her, unlike men in the friends, authority and commitment categories who knows just 10-35% about the lady.
The four categories a lady could put a guy into is i) the friend/fan ii) the authority iii) lover, and iv) the commitment zone.
I always advise men to aim for the lover category directly, but life is all about choices; choose anyone which will work for you. I already know the one which works for me.
See you soon bro,
About the Author: Gerald Dike
Gerald Dike is the founder of Relationship Strategies For Men. He has helped thousands of men have better interactions and healthy relationships with women of their dreams. He is also an entrepreneur in one of the biggest countries in Africa.
You can grab his new Book here==> The Attractive Man: How to Become the Man Who Women Desire And Chase