Women or Men: Who Does Better After a Breakup?
I know you’ve often heard that women handle a breakup better than men. Most guys don’t believe the statement to be true (because of our ego obviously). But I’m afraid to tell you that the statement is actually true, and I’ll tell you the reason in this post.
Why Most Women Handle a Breakup Better Than Most Men
It all starts when a guy and lady enters a relationship. The guy in order to be seen as a good boyfriend/partner in the eyes of the society, has to stop mingling with ladies since he already has an awesome girlfriend.
On the other hand, the lady doesn’t actually stop being approached by men both offline and online. All she needs to do in order to be seen as a good girlfriend/partner is to reject some of these men and friend zone the others.
Psychologically, the more a woman is approached by men, the more desirable and attractive she feels; and the more successful approaches a man makes, the more desirable and attractive he feels.
Mingling is a Skill
Toasting and knowing how to roll with ladies is a skill – in case you didn’t know. Hence, just like every skill, it depreciates once you stop practicing it. You become a bit rusty.
So when a relationship progresses, the guy loses some of his toasting skills and some psychological self-attractiveness, however the lady retains hers, and a woman doesn’t need much skills to get a man to approach her, all she needs is to look good and sexy.
The funny thing is most guys do not realize that they are losing those two things, because ladies usually flirt with them when they are in the relationship. In other words, it’s usually easier for guys to get girls when those girls know they’re in relationships than when they are single.
Why is that so? Alright, let me digress a little bit so as to explain why ladies usually prefer men in relationships to single guys.
Females are Attracted to What Other Females Have Vetted
Firstly, it’s not the ladies fault. It’s biologically wired in them, just as it’s wired into every guy to check out girls with great assets. Naturally, women are not risk takers; men are – forget whatever these recent feminists might have motivated you into thinking.
Hence, ladies usually go for something or someone her female instinct signifies as a safer option.
Now, when a lady sees a guy in a relationship and another single guy of the same attractiveness, her subconscious mind tells her the guy in a relationship is a safer option since a fellow lady has already vetted him. Then she tends to develop attraction for the guy in a relationship. Some Scientists call this mate poaching.
This doesn’t mean every girl will go for a guy in a relationship. No, most girls are scared of what the society might call her if she snatches another’s partner, and plus other moral restrictions.
So, some girls will apply self-discipline and self-control; the same way faithful guys apply self-control from mingling with that chick hotter than their partners. But deep down every girl, she’ll feel more attraction for a guy in a relationship than a single guy, just the same way every guy feels that instinct to plant his seeds into every beautiful and sexy lady who would let him. That’s just the way most higher male and female animals are wired.
Also, if a guy tells a girl he’s wooing, that he has never had a girlfriend before, and the guy is above 20 yrs, the lady’s female instinct immediately signals danger. Then she starts wondering:
“Why hasn’t he had a girlfriend? He looks cute enough, so girls should like to be with him then. So what is now scaring girls away from him?
Then she probably asks the guy, “Why haven’t you had a girlfriend?”
If the answer is not satisfactory enough for her. She bails – because it’s women nature to avoid risk.
On the other hand, if a girl tells a guy she has never had a boyfriend, and she’s physically attractive, the guy’s male risk-taking instinct tells him:
“Wow! That means if I’m able to get her and become her first boyfriend, I would have done what no other guy has been able to do.”
So he even gets more interested and determined to get the girl. Most girls do know this, that’s why they usually use the “I’m a virgin,” or “I’ve never done this,” or “I don’t usually do this,” format on guys to make the guys become more interested in them.
This is also the MAIN reason ladies are so much attracted to popular and famous guys. Most times, it’s not about the money. The thing is when a lady sees other ladies crazy and eager to be around this particular girl. Her female instinct then tells her that the guy would be a safe mate, which would give her strong and successful offspring.
Now, ladies don’t usually think this consciously, however it’s the main driving force behind the attraction she now develops for the guy. This is all evolutionary Psychology.
Although, you might say is not all girls who are attracted to these superstars; at least not my sweet girlfriend/ sister. She often says how she hates most of these stars. Hahaha!
The thing is bro, when ladies notice they cannot get that famous guy to be theirs, some go into auto-rejection, and then you hear them saying things like;
“I don’t even know what ladies see in Wizkid, I don’t like him.” Or “I wouldn’t date Davido in a million years.”
But the fact still remains that if Starboy or OBO showed her he’s seriously interested in any of them, they’ll JUMP and RUN to him.”
Hahaha! The ladies are seriously going to come after me for shaking this table in particular.
Okay, back to what I was saying before I digressed…
Reason Women Move on Faster after a Breakup
So, the boyfriend will not know he has lost most of his skills to get women due to ladies flirting with him when he’s in a relationship. Hence, he’ll be thinking his market value is still high, not knowing it has really depreciated.
If a breakup then occurs, the guy will have this feeling of “I’m finally free to mingle with all those girls who have been flirting with me when I was caged in that relationship.”
So as he goes into the mingling market once again with rusty skills. He starts acting awkwardly and creepy around these girls. These scares the girls off.
As he carries on, he faces lots of rejections; this causes a drastic crash of his confidence. Regret sets in, and he now starts thinking about and missing his ex.
Now this is the reason you hear most guys complaining;
“Ohhh! When I was in a relationship, all these girls were giving me green lights, but now I’m single, all of them have suddenly disappeared.”
On the other hand, after the breakup, the girl would usually take some moments to reflect about the whole relationship thingy. Then a female friend comes along and would probably say something like;
“Girl! You’re free now, stop thinking about that dude. Trust me baby girl, he’s not worth it. BTW, you’ve to accompany to this party tonight.”
Then she gives her this sexy red gown of hers; applies some make-up, puts on some high heels and heads to the party.
Now at the party, about 10 guys approached her, and she gave her number to maybe 5 worthy ones. As she came back and uploaded the party pictures on social media. More guys came running into her DM; and now she was a bit warmer to them – after all, she’s single now.
So as the girl is screening more than 15 potential boyfriend candidates; the guy on the other hand, is busy searching on google;
“How to get back your ex.”
Hahaha! This life is just unfair.
Hence, the reason ladies move on faster than men after a breakup is “More Options.”
An average woman actually has more options of mates available to her than an average man.
There’s an exception to this though; the one that the guy had a strong emotional impact on the lady. In this case, it won’t be easy for her to move on. But most relationships I see now are just weak.
Now, does it mean all hope is lost for men to move on easily from a breakup?
No nah… All hope can’t be lost for men’s romantic life; not when Gerald is still alive and active.
HOW TO HANDLE A BREAKUP BETTER AND MOVE ON EASILY
I know some guys will probably say, “I don’t need this, I’ll probably marry my current girlfriend.” I really sincerely hope you do bro.
However, I’m a realist and the truth is 90% of relationships of men younger than the age of 30 yrs. do not end in marriage. So, bro there are still some breakups coming your way. I’m not trying to be a pessimist here, just being real.
So the best way to handle a breakup is to expect and prepare for one. Like Lil wayne said in one of his songs, “Praying for the best, but expecting the worst.”
The steps to take include:
- Emulate your girlfriend.
Since your girlfriend would still be approached by guys; emulate her by approaching ladies too. However, since your girlfriend won’t usually sleep or start dating those guys who approach her (that’s if you’re doing your work right).
You should also exercise self-control not to sleep or start relationship with those girls you approached. Usually just approach ladies for fun, and nothing serious. It will always help if you delete their contacts when you see yourself catching feelings.
Also, since it’s not every guy who approaches your girl she tells you about; you should also keep your activities from your girl. But whatever you do in your relationships, never lose your approach skills.
2. Don’t Cut off All your single friends.
The mistake I see most guys make when they enter a relationship is to cut off contact with their single guys. Maybe they do this in order to please their new girlfriend. But that’s a wrong move. When you enter a relationship, still hang out sometimes with your guys, and have boys outing. Although this won’t be often like when you were still single. But you don’t cut it off completely. This would help you still understand the systematic of the mingling market.
3. Don’t ever stop developing yourself.
Another mistake guys make is when they get that their perfect girl, they think the game is over. So they stop taking care of themselves; stop dressing well, and so on.
The truth is getting a girl is the easiest part, keeping a girl happy while keeping your happiness is the hardest part. It is the same for wealth, the easiest part is getting rich, while the hardest part is staying rich.
So even when you get your perfect girlfriend, still continue being an attractive man. Don’t stop reading contents from relationship strategies for men or from our private Facebook community and other legit guys’ websites. Read articles both for the singles and those in relationships. Never stop learning; never stop improving yourself.
Generally, ladies move on faster than guys after a breakup; because an average lady has more options of mate more than an average guy. So, don’t be an average man, rather be an attractive man–who has massive options; a man who ladies will always want to date.
Cheers to the good life bro,
Read Also : How to Handle a Breakup and Get Over An Ex
About the Author: Gerald Dike
Gerald Dike is the founder of Relationship Strategies For Men. He has helped thousands of men have better interactions and healthy relationships with women of their dreams. He is also an entrepreneur in one of the biggest countries in Africa.
You can grab his new Book here==> The Attractive Man: How to Become the Man Who Women Desire And Chase