How To Prevent Boredom In Your Relationship.
Boredom in your relationship! This is one of the common reasons relationships fail.
At the beginning of a relationship, there is this interesting vibe around. The couples are still in the honeymoon period—where they can’t just get enough of each other.
But that honeymoon period is usually short and quite tricky. Soon the couples start getting used to each other. Then boredom starts setting in gradually. And if the man doesn’t do anything about it; his girl starts losing interest gradually and starts withdrawing from him.
Before he knows it; he has lost the girl. And he is there wondering what went wrong—they had so much chemistry at the beginning.
Is it Your Responsibility?
Now, I know some men would probably ask; “Why should a man be the one to ensure that the relationship keeps being interesting?”
Well, if you’re a regular here, you’ll know that one of the things we encourage here is for men to be the leader in their relationship.
Now, leadership comes with responsibilities.
A good leader is responsible for the welfare of those who follow his lead. You can’t be a president of a country and you say it’s not your duty to take care of the citizens of your country. There is no right without duty.
If it’s your right to be the leader in your relationship while your girl should be submissive to you; then it’s also your sole duty to make sure that your girl doesn’t get bored in the relationship.
So, how can you prevent boredom in your relationship?
Hopefully, after reading this post and applying the strategies in it, no girl would ever leave you because the relationship got boring and uninteresting.
HOW TO KNOW IF YOUR GIRL IS BORED
Basically, when your girl is bored in the relationship, she starts acting indifferently around you. She won’t call or text you as she used to and would answer your calls/texts nonchalantly.
She starts disrespecting you more and giving you subtle insults.
You’ll also notice she would bring up more excuses why she can’t spend time with you. When your girl is getting bored in the relationship, you’ll notice she’s becoming more distant.
TOO MUCH SECURITY CAUSES BOREDOM IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
The major reason girls get bored in a relationship, is when they feel too safe around their partners.
That is, you giving a girl the impression that no matter what happens; you’ll never ever cheat on her or leave her is giving her too much security.
And that is the main thing which brings about boredom in your relationship and makes your girl lose interest in you.
Now, don’t get me wrong. In order to have a healthy relationship with any girl; you MUST make her feel safe. That is, you shouldn’t give her the impression that you can just wake up one day and dump her. Or cheat on her without reason.
If your woman doesn’t feel safe with you, she’ll give you more drama, become very clingy and suspicious of every of your movement. Hence, if you give a girl too little security; she’ll act crazier around you. And if you give a girl too much security; she’ll become bored.
Therefore, in order to kill boredom in your relationship and the same time avoid activating your girl’s craziness; you’ve to learn how to strike the right balance in providing security for your girl.
HOW TO STRIKE THE RIGHT BALANCE: PREVENTING BOREDOM IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
1) Mirror Her Attention
This is where I usually see most men mess up their amazing relationship—they give their girlfriend too much attention.
Listen to me bro, nothing bores a girl faster than when you suffocate her with too much attention. Every time, you want to hear her voice, you’re always chatting her, pushing for offline dates.
Hol up, hol up bro…
No girl fancies a clingy guy; so get in control of your emotions bro and stop acting all needy around girls. It’s highly unattractive.
Now, this doesn’t mean you should completely stop showing your girl attention. When you do this, you make your girl start feeling insecure; you start giving her the impression that another lady has your attention now.
Trust me, you don’t want that too.
Giving you a specific way to give a girl attention would be a bad move also. Because ladies are quite different. Hence, something girl A sees as too much attention might be too little attention for girl B.
Therefore, the best thing is to mirror your girl’s attention. This means that you shouldn’t show your girl more attention than she is showing you.
If she usually calls you 4 times a week; don’t call her more than 4 times. Don’t reply her chats faster than she does to you.
Personally, I mirror girls’ attention and subtract from it. So, if I observe that a girl calls me like 3 times a week; I only call her once a week. I don’t usually chat with girls, so I won’t even reply most of her messages.
However, I make sure to set the right expectations from onset. One of the first things I let a new girl know about me is that I’m neither the calling nor the texting type. Hence, she won’t expect much from me in that aspect.
Note: Most times, when you meet a girl newly, you’ve to show more of the attention until you get her hooked, then you now relax and then mirror her attention.
2) Never Promise Undying Love or Loyalty to Her
A lot of nice guys fail it here. They make a girl feel too safe by making these committing promises. Like:
- Nothing will make me leave you.
- I will always do anything you want.
- I’ll love you forever.
- Whenever you need me; I’ll always be there for you.
The thing is, you always lose when you make these sorts of promises to women. If you stick to it and keep to your word; you’re inviting boredom in your relationship. And if you break these promises, you’ll make your lady trust you less. Once your woman starts trusting you less; the more drama she throws your way.
To avoid this; never make promises to women. Even if she tries to trick you to make one; always be smarter.
Her: Promise me, you’ll never leave me no matter what.
You: Hun, I can’t even promise myself I will wake up tomorrow. This life is just full of uncertainties. Hence, anything can happen. But we’re here now. Let’s stop worrying about the future and enjoy every moment in the present.
Analysis: Now with this answer, she still feels safe with you. However, she knows you might not be with her forever. You make her feel uncertain. And uncertainty keeps a girl excited in a relationship.
3) Become a Puzzle to Her
Don’t reveal everything about yourself immediately you meet a girl. Intentionally hold some back. Allow her to discover more about you as time goes on.
When a girl thinks she has known everything there’s to know about you; you immediately become unexciting and boring to her. However, if the more time she spends with you; the more she discovers things about you she never knew, the more she becomes intrigued by you.
She wonders, “What more will I find out about him? He’s so full of surprises.”
This curiosity keeps the girl interested in you.
4) Get Her to Invest in You
Stop being the only one investing in your relationship. Get your woman to invest in the relationship too. When you’re the only one who does all the work; your girl gets bored.
Same way you would get bored if your friend is playing a solo mission game and you’re just there watching him. However, you would have been more interested if the mission game was for two players.
So, instead of planning your birthday alone, allow your girl to plan it. If she lacks the finances to make it happen, give her the money; but let her be the one to coordinate the activities. Allow your girl to put visible effort in your relationship.
The thing is, the more your girl invests in the relationship; the more you kill boredom in your relationship.
5) Reward Her Investment
Getting a girl to invest in you is important; but to reward that her investment is more important. You must reward your girl whenever she does something good for you. So that she would be motivated to do more.
Don’t reward her investments with bad attitude.
For example, if she came to your place to prepare a sumptuous dish for you; treat her more affectionately and with so much warmth that day.
And not after stressing herself to cook; you now rewarded her with aloofness and nagging.
SUMMARY: HOW TO PREVENT BOREDOM IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
To avoid boredom in your relationship, don’t make a girl feel too safe with you and to prevent your girl from acting too crazy, don’t make her feel so insecure around you.
Hence, you’ve to strike a balance when providing security for your woman.
And you can strike this balance by:
- Mirroring her attention
- Never Making a Promise
- Being a Puzzle to Her
- Getting Her to invest in the relationship
- Rewarding those investments.
See you next time,