Bro, the only way you’re going to avoid women drama is if you have absolutely no female in your life. So as long as you have a female in your life—whether it’s your girlfriend, wife, mother, sister or daughter, you must experience some women drama in your life.
Hence, it is vital you know how to handle women drama whenever it’s thrown at you. And this is what I’ll teach you in this post.
Where Women Drama Come From
“Why do women create drama in the first place? I mean, why can’t they just be like most men and be all cool?”
I remember when I asked myself these sorts of questions, and I know you have pondered over these questions or similar ones before.
Well brother, you’ve to understand that men will always be men and women will always be women.
The thing is, humans are emotional beings. However, women are naturally more emotional than men.
Hence, women are more expressive of their emotions than men.
So when women hit you with drama, they are just trying to express an emotion or emotions. And women drama usually come up because of something you did or didn’t do.
It is also interesting to note that all women cause drama, but in different levels and frequency.
For instance, highly passionate and very emotional ladies tend to cause more intense drama, while dispassionate ladies cause lesser drama. And I have also noticed that women who are pretty and hot do cause a lot of drama too.
Now, there are three major emotions which women try to express with drama. They are a) annoyance, b) frustration and c) fear.
So when a woman starts hitting you with the mood swings/attitude, sulking, yelling, nagging, and sometimes even crying (these are generally known as women drama); she’s expressing either one or more of the above emotions.
Now, Women drama can be of two main forms:
1. Respect-based Drama
This is the sort of drama women give you when they start losing the respect they have for you. You know a drama is respect-based when a girl starts being overly rude and withdrawn from you. She starts acting towards you in a more disrespectful way. Maybe she starts ignoring your calls, cutting the call on you, walking out on you, flirting with other men in your presence, denying you of intimacy regularly, cancelling dates often and so on.
Reasons a Woman Might Lose Respect For You
There are so many reasons a girl might lose respect for you as a man, but I’ll list the most common ones and the emotions they are likely going to feel which would fuel the drama.
- Beating around the bush. A lady might get “annoyed” and hit you with a respect-based drama when you don’t go straight to the point and let her know what your intentions are towards her.
- Moving too slowly. A woman who has been showing you “green-light” and you’ve been wasting time to make a move, might get “annoyed and frustrated” with you at some point, and start hitting you with drama—probably by avoiding you or being cold to you. I’ve discussed this in detail in the post titled: The short lifespan of ladies’ attraction
- Poor Sex. When you don’t satisfy a woman sexually, she often feels “frustration and annoyance” towards you and these would fuel so much respect-based drama for you in your relationship.
- Getting less focused on your goals/career. One of the things which women find sexy in a man is FOCUS and DETERMINATION. So it’s usual for your woman to start losing respect for you— when she feels you’re no longer as focused as you were when she met you. Hence stirring up more drama in your relationship.
- Being a pushover. When a woman senses that people (including herself) easily have their way with you, or you don’t usually have an opinion of your own, she loses respect for you and starts hitting you with more respect-based drama because she feels “anger and frustration” towards you.
2. Security-based Drama
This is the kind of drama women give you when they feel insecure with you. That is, they feel you don’t really care or value them enough and might leave them without a good reason. When a woman hits you with security-based drama, it means she doesn’t want to lose you, but you’re giving her the feeling she might.
Hence, the main emotion a woman is trying to express through a security-based drama is “fear” Although, if you don’t address that “fear”, it might transform to “anger and frustration” which would result to more intense drama.
You know a drama is security-based when a lady starts getting jealous, accusing you of being a player or having so many girlfriends, sulking or yelling at you when she sees you flirting with other girls, complaining/nagging you don’t call, text or spend much time as you’re supposed to.
You normally experience this form of women drama when you’ve been intimate with a lady but you’ve not yet committed to her as she would like. So she’s basically pushing for the sort of commitment she desires with you using security-based drama.
Personally, this security-based drama is the one women hit me with nowadays. But earlier when I was still a big novice with women, I experienced the respect-based drama more.
But whichever one you face, I’ll show you how you can handle them efficiently.
How to Handle Women Drama
Step I: Don’t Overreact or Ignore the Drama
Most guys usually overreact when they are faced with women drama. You see them yelling back at the woman; supplicating and apologizing without even knowing exactly what they did wrong; getting all defensive immediately and the rest. Some men even completely ignore the woman and her drama.
These aren’t good ways of responding to women drama. The thing is;
- When you supplicate and start apologizing immediately when women hit you with drama, it makes you look weak.
- If you get all defensive instantly, maybe she accused you of being a player, then you’re confirming her suspicions.
- When you yell or sulk in reaction to a woman’s drama, it shows you’re just a big baby in a man’s body.
- And if you completely ignore her, it just shows her you don’t care about her at all.
Now, the first thing to do when you’re hit with women drama is to stay calm and relaxed, don’t fidget. If she’s yelling, just stay cool and listen. If she’s giving you attitude and mood swings, just stay cool. Is she accusing you of something? Just stay calm.
Step II: Detect the Kind of Drama
The next thing to do after being all calm and relaxed is to find out what the problem really is. Calmly get her to talk and tell you why she’s hitting you with drama. If she tells you the reason, you now know if it’s respect-based or security-based drama.
I think it was in my Final year in the university, I went out with this sweetheart of mine with some of my gees and their girls. Towards the end of the hangout, I noticed that my girl suddenly became moody. So after the hangout, as we were going home, she continued giving me the attitude, not wanting to talk with me and stuff. I remained calm and relaxed all through the drama.
So when we got back to my room, I calmly tried to get to the root of the drama
Me: Hey babe, what’s the problem? Why have you been acting moody for the past 30 mins or so?
Me: Come on! It can’t be nothing. You were laughing and smiling almost all through the hangout, but towards the end, your mood suddenly changed.
Her: Gerald, leave me alone! You don’t care about me. How could you not say anything to that your stupid friend when he insulted me?! You were even laughing. You ought to defend the woman who you claim you care about. Just leave me alone!!!
Okay, as you can see I had finally gotten to the root of the drama. She was acting that way because I gave her the feeling that “I didn’t care about her enough to defend her in front of my friends”
You see, women drama is usually as a result of what you did or didn’t do. And in this case, this drama was security-based drama.
The good thing about getting girls to tell you what the problem is that, most times when they’re telling you why there are upset, they tend to cool down in the process and this makes it easier to resolve the drama.
Hence, if you’re able to get a woman tell you why she’s acting up, you’ve handled 80% of the drama.
Step III: Resolution
Now, when you have identified the problem, the next step is trying to resolve it. And you resolve it by addressing the emotions. In my case, the main issue was that she was “afraid” that I didn’t care about her enough to defend her.
For me to address that drama, all I had to do was to address that “fear” by reminding her that I really do care about her.
And this was how I did that:
Her: Gerald, leave me alone! You don’t care about me. How could you not say anything to that your stupid friend when he insulted me. You were even laughing. You defend the woman who you claim you care about. Just leave me alone!!!
Me: Ohh baby, you know I do care a lot about you. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be spending my time with you, I wouldn’t even introduce you to all my close friends. Yes, I heard when my friend made that remark, but prior to that we were all laughing and throwing friendly subs at each other, so I didn’t know you felt insulted by that particular one. You should know by now that I will always fight for your honor. I’m even ready to fight that mad man in Wetheral if he ever insults you.
Her: [she smiled and then let out a chuckle]
See? Women are really not that complicated like you think.
General ways to handle a Respect-based Women Drama
If you observe that most of the women drama you experience is respect-based, then you need to seriously work on your masculinity. Therefore:
- Develop a high self-esteem and have self-respect for yourself. Never let ANYONE get comfortable disrespecting you.
- Make your goals and career your mission. As a man, your focus should always be your purpose in life. Always be mission-oriented and never lose focus.
- Improve your bedroom skills. Great sex matters a lot to women.
- When interacting with women, be bolder, move faster, take more risks and make your intentions clear. Stop being a nice guy who takes things so slowly and keeps on beating around the bush.
- Learn how to become a great leader. Develop good leadership qualities.
- Learn how to WIN in life. Understand how to get things go your own way most of the times.
General ways to handle a Security-based Women Drama
When you experience security-based drama from a woman, it means you’re giving her the feeling that you don’t care about her enough. That is, you’re making her feel insecure. So the best way to handle security-based drama is to make her feel secure and cherished.
You can do this by:
- Spending more quality time with her.
- Listening more.
- Showing her public affections.
- Making her feel she’s the number one woman in your life.
Women drama is just a way women express emotions of anger, frustration and fear. Women Drama also come in two different form; a) Respect-based and, b) Security-based
If it’s respect-based drama, the woman would be pushing to spend LESSER time with you. But if it’s security-based drama, the woman would be pushing to spend MORE time with you.
But when you’re a great captain in your relationSHIP, leading and tending to your girl’s emotions effectively, you’ll encounter less women drama.
However, if you’re not in charge of things, or you’re dating a very dramatic woman, you’ll be coming across lots of drama in your relationship.
One more thing, whenever you’re hit with some women drama, always remember to stay calm and relaxed.
About the Author: Gerald Dike
Gerald Dike is the founder of Relationship Strategies For Men. He has helped thousands of men have better interactions and healthy relationships with women of their dreams. He is also an entrepreneur in one of the biggest countries in Africa.
You can grab his new Book here==> The Attractive Man: How to Become the Man Who Women Desire And Chase