How to Handle a Breakup
Today, I’ll discuss on how to handle a breakup– no matter how bad the breakup was.
Most of us have had breakups. Some of the breakups might have been a friendly one where we parted amicably with our ex—no hard feelings.
However, there are some bitter breakups which left us with a broken heart and negative feelings. I personally have had quite a number of heartbreaks. Some girls have left my life and it pained me greatly.
You know, most men claim they have never experienced a heartbreak before. Obviously because of our ego and to preserve our masculinity in the eyes of the society.
Listen to me brother, experiencing heartbreak doesn’t make you less of a man. Heck! James Bond’s heart has even been broken. What matters most is how you handle a breakup.
Do you get over an ex while remaining positive? Do you get stuck on an ex hoping she comes back? Or do you carry bitterness towards all ladies just because of one bad experience with a girl?
Steps on How to Handle a Breakup
LET IT OUT
Due to our ego as men, you might try to hide that you’re heartbroken. That the breakup didn’t get to you.
So you act tough around your friends, keeping it all to yourself. You don’t want them to think you are a wuss who is crying over a girl. Bro, that’s a wrong move. You need to let it out— you need to talk about out it to someone. It really helps.
Find that your friend who is a bit mature. Someone who would listen to you and won’t make fun of you. Then tell him exactly how you feel, and how bad it hurts. If you don’t have that sort of friend who you think might understand you. Become that friend, and stop making fun of your male friends when they’re emotionally hurt. You’ll see them returning the favor.
Also, if you feel like crying, go to some where you would be alone and cry it out. Whenever you cry—when you’re feeling bitter or sad. The tears carry with it some of the bitter chemical substances out of your body. The emotions you feel are actually chemical secretions.
This is the reason you usually feel better and relieved after crying. So, ‘if e pain you, cry my manny!’
Just don’t keep it all locked up inside. Find a way to let it out, either by talking it out, or crying it out, or even both.
When you let it out, the easier it would be for you to forgive her— that’s if she wronged you. You should never carry bitterness in you, that shit is heavy. It weighs you down in life, and even makes you to miss out on wonderful things in the future. So let it all out.
KILL THAT HOPE
You know that little hope; that tiny voice which tells you that you and your ex might come back together in the future. Yes, that hope, kill it!
Hope is what gives life to a particular desire in our mind. So you still desire your ex because you have hope she might come back to you. Therefore, you should intentionally lose hope on her.
Keep reminding yourself that,
“You’re not getting back with her. That you’re heading forward and not backward. And even if she comes back to you, you won’t accept her.”
Keep repeating this or something similar to yourself until your subconscious registers it and obliterates that hope totally from your mind.
CUT HER OFF TEMPORARILY
For you to feel a particular emotion, you need a hook. Something to activate the thought in your mind which in turn stimulates the secretion of certain biological chemicals which causes you to feel the emotion.
I remember back when I lost my grandmother. At that period, whenever I entered the room she stayed back then. I immediately remembered her and the good memories she brought, and felt sad because she was no more.
Hence, her room was the hook.
Therefore, during the early stage of a bad breakup, you need to remove things (hook) which could remind you of your ex or the good memories you had with her. This includes:
- Deleting previous Chats
- Unfollowing her on Social Media
- Transferring all her pictures in a far folder in your laptop or hard disk. Far away from sight.
However, you should be mature about it. Ensure you communicate to her that you two need sometime apart for a while. Most ladies would insist to keep contact with you. Especially if they were the one who broke it off.
Stand your ground, tell her you could always be friends later on. But you need this time apart to think things through.
APPROACH AND MINGLE MASSIVELY
This is by far the most important step to handle a breakup. If you practice this step alone, you could neglect the other steps.
Immediately after a breakup, you need to go out there and approach, and mingle with a lot of ladies.
Napoleon Hill said in his book Think and Grow Rich, “Thoughts cannot be removed, only replaced.”
This means that you can’t just remove the thought of your ex, instead you can replace it with the thought of an amazing girl you met newly who is already going gaga for you.
In the post, “Why Women usually Move on faster than men after a breakup,” I advised the guys in relationships never to lose their wooing skills. So that you could always go out there and get yourself amazing ladies effortlessly— if you ever have a breakup.
Even if you lose your skill, you could always come to this blog relationshipstrategiesformen.com and recover those skills.
I have realized that the main reason men can’t get over an ex, or are stuck in the friend zone is because they lack OPTIONS. When you have options of gorgeous, charismatic, amazing, intelligent, and naughty ladies, you won’t get obsessed over any girl.
And the faster and more approaches you make, the faster and higher your chances of finding that amazing lady who would replace your ex from your mind and make you forget your heart was broken some days ago.
So this is a very important step if you really want to handle a breakup better.
GET MORE FOCUSED
Another way you could handle a breakup effectively is to get more focused on your goals. Put more hours to your hustle in order to achieve your dreams and goals.
- If you’re a student, put more hours in your studies.
- Focus more on getting more customers while retaining your old ones, if you’re a business man.
- And if you’re a career person, focus more on how you could get that next promotion.
This would keep your mind busy.
But what you should NEVER do is to sit and focus on your ex and about getting her back. That shit is highly unproductive.
When you’re focused on your goals and you’re making progress towards achieving them every day, you’ll feel happier and more positive about the future. And when you’re feeling these emotions, you won’t have the room in your mind to feel that bitter emotions which comes with heartbreak.
To handle a breakup and get over an ex like a boss, you need to:
Let the bitter feelings out, kill that hope of getting her back, give her some distance for a while, then focus on your goals and become more productive. But most importantly approach lots of ladies.
So next time you get heartbroken, try out these steps and get over it like a boss— which you are.
Cheers to Happiness,
About the Author: Gerald Dike
Gerald Dike is the founder of Relationship Strategies For Men. He has helped thousands of men have better interactions and healthy relationships with women of their dreams. He is also an entrepreneur in one of the biggest countries in Africa.
You can grab his new Book here==> The Attractive Man: How to Become the Man Who Women Desire And Chase