Romantic movies

Wrong Mindsets Romantic Movies Tell You About Relationships

Don’t Emulate Romantic Movies

Romantic movies love to paint relationship fantasies. Well, you won’t blame them, people—especially women love fantasies. And since women are their major audience, they have to give them something they like and would buy. That’s how business works.

The thing is, most people don’t like the bitter truth—they prefer fantasies.

And I’ve noticed that most of the relationship advice flooded in the internet follows the pattern being painted by romantic movies.

 

Following Romantic Movies is Easier

The truth is, it would have been easier for me to paint relationship fantasies for you, and trust me I would be criticized less and probably have gotten more positive reactions from the public.

I would have been giving you relationship advice like:

 

1) If you love a girl, take your time, don’t rush it. Wait at least three dates before showing any sexual interest in her. That shows you’re a gentleman and you respect her.

2) Call her and send her text messages every day; that tells her you’re always thinking about her.

3) When you’re friend zoned by a lady, you’ve to be patient with her and show her why you’re better than the guys she’s dating.

4) Just be yourself. You don’t have to change a thing about you. The person who is meant for you would love everything about you.

5) Treat a girl like a queen; and she’ll treat you like a king. Treat her like she’s the only girl in the world and she would remain loyal to you.

 

I could be telling you all these and get a lot of positive feedback; but I won’t.

Why?

First of all, I’ve tried most of these tips, it didn’t end well for me. I’ve also seen guys who tried them out, it didn’t end well for them most times. We got used, taken for granted, friend zoned and cheated on.

So, I cannot start telling people what I know didn’t work out for me and others just because I want to get positive feedback—especially from the female folks.

 

And secondly it’s not in my nature to mince words. I just tell you the way it is—whether it sounds nice or not. I believe it saves everyone time. That’s why I think I won’t make a very good politician. Lol

 

Now, let’s analyze these relationship tips derived from romantic movies

 

1) If you love a girl, take your time, don’t rush it. Wait at least three dates before showing any sexual interest in her. That shows you’re a gentleman and you respect her.

In romantic movies, the actor usually takes it so slow. Acting all nervous and unconfident. Then one day, he finally gathers the courage to ask the girl out.

When the girl agrees to go out on a date with him, you see him celebrating it like he just won a lotto.

On the first date, they would have a very platonic date. Same in the second date, before he finally makes a timid move to kiss her at the end of the third date.

That’s all cute though. But the fact is, in REAL LIFE, most girls determine the category to slot you into after the first date.

 

Basically, a lady has four categories to slot men in her life into, namely:

  1. a) Friend
  2. b) Authority
  3. c) Boyfriend
  4. d) Lover

   romantic movies

And since an average girl meets a lot of men—especially in this social media era, she categorizes you quickly.

 

  • If you appear and act as a friend initially, she slots you in the friend category immediately.
  • You act as a mentor who is always advising her, she puts you in the authority figure category.
  • Act as a romantic, charming available guy to her, she considers you for a committed relationship.
  • And if you appear as a mysterious, nonjudgmental, sexy, unavailable guy she considers you as a lover to have fun with.

Also Read: Four Categories Women Slot the Men in their Life

This is the reason I always advise guys to move fast, if you want a girl as a lover or girlfriend, don’t appear as a friend. Instead, connect emotionally with her and start flirting with her ASAP.

Give her the feeling that you’re sexually interested in her. Not because she has a vee-jay you could satisfy your sexual urge with.

Rather, you’re sexually interested in her because you relate with her, understand and accept her for who she is.

 

But if you want her as just a friend, then by all means act like a friend to her.

 

Also, why that advice of taking it slow with girls is a bad advice is that women’s attraction has a short life span.

 

So if you take it slow with a girl without making your romantic intentions clear to her, she might likely think you’re not interested in her and move on.

I know you might have probably experienced a girl who was showing you interest and giving you green-light, suddenly she grew cold and withdrew.

And you were there wondering. What went wrong?

Yeah, you now know what happened; her attraction for you faded and she lost interest in you because you didn’t make a move fast.

 

Also, in romantic movies, they also paint how a no-sex relationship is very easy and possible.

But one thing you should know is that most women won’t consider you or anything you have with them as being serious until they get intimate with you. That is, until they’ve had sex with you.

The thing is, a woman values her sexuality very much, and if she hasn’t made love to you yet, her subconscious mind tells her she’s not that into you, and vice versa.

 

This holds true for about 80% of ladies out there. And in the other 20%, 10% are found in the Convent.

So, you’re left with about 10% of ladies who would take you serious in a non-sexual relationship.

This is the reason I advise men who their morals are against pre-marital sex to stay out of romantic relationships until they’re financially and emotionally ready to marry.

This would help them enter relationships that would likely lead to marriage soon and they start getting intimate with the lady (wife) and cement the relationship.

 

Because if you think you can have a healthy long-term no-sex relationship with a lady in this 21st century, you’re preparing yourself for some serious heartbreak.

 

Or pray you stumble on one of those girls in that 10%. Which is very unlikely.

 

2) Call her and send her text messages every day; that tells her you’re always thinking about her.

 

True, women love attention, but if you give them too much of it, they start taking it and you for granted. When you call and text a girl every day, it becomes boring and predictable.

 

Trust me, last thing you would want to do is to bore your girl.

Therefore, you need to be a bit elusive sometimes and let your girl miss you a bit. And also try to be a little spontaneous. Your relationship depends on that.

But romantic movies won’t tell you this. In fact, they’ll encourage you to suffocate your girl with attention.

 

 

3) When you’re friend zoned by a lady, you’ve to be patient with her and show her why you’re better than the guys she’s dating.

 

You know, in most love movies, a friend-zoned guy will remain friends with the girl he loves and continue being a great friend hoping one day she’ll finally realize what a great guy he is.

 

And after a break-up (usually from her jerk of a boyfriend), the lady would now realize that the perfect boyfriend has been there all along in the disguise of her friend and they would finally start dating and live happily ever after.

 

Awwww! That’s so sweet but the truth is… that rarely happens in real life.

Most times, after the breakup the girl dates an entirely new guy instead of dating that dude wallowing in her friend zone.

 

The best way to leave a girl’s friend zone and have a shot with her is to cut off the lady from your life and go mingle with other ladies (of your usual standard).

If the girl really likes you, she would reach out to you when she notices your absence and how you’re rolling with other ladies.

 

Then when she starts seeking your attention again, you now tell her that you can’t just remain friends with someone you’ve feelings for.

 

 

Now, if she still has romantic feelings for you, you’ll notice a change in her attitude, and she would offer less or no resistance to you when you make a move on her.

And if she doesn’t feel the same way for you, or can’t date you at the moment, she would leave. And you too would jejely move on with your life.

 

But if you left her, and she didn’t even notice your absence or bother to reach out to you, then she never valued your presence. And you shouldn’t honor her with it again.

 

4) Just be yourself. You don’t have to change a thing about you. The person who is meant for you would love everything about you.

 

This is another romantic movies’ classic.

You know… the shy nerd who is a nice guy would finally get that extremely gorgeous damsel he has been crushing on since forever—without having to change or improve anything about him.

 

And you still think film trick only happens in Action movies? Please…this is a big time film trick.

 

In real life, if you want something you’ve not had before, you’ve to do something you’ve not done before. And that’s change.

 

But let me get this straight…

 

Are they trying to tell me a shy guy who has a poor fashion-sense and bad grooming, with zero conversation skills wouldn’t need to change anything in order to get his dream girl who happens to be a sexy, well-dressed, charismatic girl?

Hilarious!

 

The simple truth is if you want to get more quality girls in your life you need to work on yourself and improve yourself.

Romantic movies

The time this advice is legit is when it comes to your core personality.

 

For example if you’re an introvert who loves staying alone, you don’t need to turn into the life of the party in order to get attractive girls to be yours.

 

But you need to kill your shyness and improve your conversation skills.

And yes there’s a big difference between being shy and introverted.

For example, a shy person might really want to go and hang out with some friends, but because he is afraid of not knowing what to say when he gets there.

He decides to stay back, not because he wants to be alone, but because he is afraid to go and socialize.

 

However, an introverted person is not afraid to go and hang out with friends. He knows he could handle the talk effectively but he doesn’t want to, because he just wants to stay alone and enjoy his own company.

 

You understand the difference? Good.

 

So, if you avoid human contact because you’re afraid of what to say but deep down you want to socialize badly, you’re shy, and you should work on that.

 

But if you do socialize occasionally because you enjoy your own company more and when you do socialize you do it so well.

Then, you’re introverted, and it’s not a bad thing and that won’t prevent you from success in life or with women.

 

Because you would only be socializing when it’s absolutely necessary—and that’s enough.

 

 

5) Treat a girl like a queen; and she’ll treat you like a king. Treat her like she’s the only girl in the world; and she would remain loyal to you.

 

The bitter truth is that women don’t like men who worship them—if that’s what they mean by treating a lady like a queen.

 

See eh, immediately you start placing a girl on a pedestal and start giving her the feeling you adore and think she’s special from every other lady on planet earth, she falls out of love for you.

 

Why?

 

Well, women don’t want to date their fan. They want to date a man. And if you worship and treat her like she’s the only girl in the world and you make her believe that you genuinely can’t live without her, she falls out of love with you immediately.

 

Women just want to feel cherished by their man. That is, don’t give her the feeling of being taken for granted.

 

Listen to her when she NEEDS to be listened to; remember the little details she told you earlier; come to her aid when she really NEEDS your help.

 

Just tend to a girl’s emotions and she’ll feel cherished.

Worship her and she’ll fall out of love with you. And then she starts disrespecting you or even cheat on you.

 

WRAP UP

Now, I’m not saying you should stop watching romantic movies… No, not at all. If you love watching them, continue.

 

But don’t follow most of the relationship rules they portray there; it doesn’t work in real life most times.

 

Personally, I do love listening to blues, but I don’t follow the lyrics.

Also, I’ll continue telling you the bitter truth about relationships and women, because I’m not here to tell you what it should be or what sounds more pleasing. Rather, I’m here to tell you WHAT IT IS and WHAT WORKS.

 

Cheers to bitter truths,

Gerald.

About the Author: Gerald Dike

Gerald Dike is the founder of Relationship Strategies For Men. He has helped thousands of men have better interactions and healthy relationships with women of their dreams. He is also an entrepreneur in one of the biggest countries in Africa.

You can grab his new Book here==> The Attractive Man: How to Become the Man Who Women Desire And Chase

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