Placing Women on a Pedestal
This is one of the most common mistakes a lot of men make with certain women. They place them on a pedestal.
What does it mean to place a lady (or someone) on a pedestal?
When you place a lady on a pedestal, you believe and behave towards the lady as if she’s perfect, extraordinary and better than every other lady out there. You sincerely believe that the lady is without flaws or faults. She’s spotless!
How do you rate women?
Immediately you see a lady for the first time, you subconsciously grade her value. Your mind grades if she’s of lower, equal or higher value than you. Usually, the prettier or classier you think a lady is, the higher you rate her.
Now, the value you have given her greatly affects how you’ll approach and interact with her.
If you think to yourself, “This girl is average, she’s at my level or even below my level.” You tend to approach her more confidently, and you won’t be that scared to move fast with her.
Take a few seconds and recall girls you had this mindset while approaching and dealing with them. How did it turn out? You got positives responses most of the time right?
Your Rare Gem
On the other hand, if you see a girl and think to yourself:
“Ohh my Gosh! This girl na master’s chop ohh; it’ll only be the big men with money and flashy cars who could have her as a girlfriend” “She’s out of my league; she’s no way going to agree if I approach her.”
In other words, you’re placing her on a pedestal. Whenever you see a lady you’re attracted to and you’ve this mindset, most times you talk yourself out of approaching her.
Even if you do eventually gather courage to approach her, you’ll probably do it so nervously, and you’ll take it extremely slowly with her and treat her so nicely. Like she’s this precious rare gem or something.
You don’t want to scare her off by moving fast with her. She’s not like all these other girls you know, and if you scare off by moving fast with her, you’re not sure you’ll ever find her type of girl.
Again, take a few seconds and recall girls you had this mindset while approaching and mingling with them. How did it turn out? You got negative responses most of the time right? Maybe you ended up in the friend zone or she took you for granted.
So why did this happen? Is it because that those first set of girls are cheap, and those classy girls are expensive? And the latter girls didn’t accept you because you were not their level financially?
No, not at all.
The Problem Lies in your Mindset
When you approached those girls whom you THOUGHT were of equal, or lower value than you; you did so more confidently, moved fast and took risks with them. Because you know even if they go, you are capable of getting their type so easily. After all, they should be happy you’re even approaching them.
And when you were doing this, you communicated to the girls that you were a confident dominant man. Someone who knows what he wants and who is courageous enough to go for it. And since every woman finds those traits attractive, you get a positive response from them.
But when you approached those other girls whom you thought were of higher value than you; you did so nervously, moved slow and played safe with them. Because you think if you lose them, you might never find their type again. And you are not even up to the standard of men who she hangs out with.
When you were doing this, you came across them as a weak and insecure man, who’s scared of going for what he wants. And these two characters are red flags for women. So they reject or friend zone you most of the time.
And it’s not that those girls who you think are not that pretty are cheap, or that those pretty girls are expensive. No, not all.
Why Ladies Reject Men Who Place Them on a Pedestal
It puts Ladies on Pressure
When you place a lady on pedestal, you give her the impression that you see her as perfect or flawless. But she is just a human being and she knows she’s not perfect. So whenever she’s with you she pretends to be that perfect individual for you.
But pretending is too much work; it’s too much pressure.
I still remember when I was growing up—during my early teenage years. There was this my aunt, who saw me as this perfect cute little teenager—not knowing that the boy has joined the bad gang tey tey.
So whenever I was with her, I had to pretend to be that perfect teenager—so that she won’t feel disappointed with me. But it was too much work and pressure. And this made me avoid being in her presence often. I usually manufactured excuses and alibis why I couldn’t be with her.
The same thing happens when you put a girl on a pedestal. She’ll always feel the pressure to match your expectations of her. Then she thinks to herself, “How could she possibly cope with this pressure of pretense if she agrees to date you.” So, she keeps you far enough from her life where you would continue seeing as the perfect girl ever—usually in her sweet friend zone. Because she doesn’t want you to see her flaws and get disappointed with her.
The truth is: We all want to be with people who we can be our real self—it’s relieving. Ladies want that too, they want to date and be with a man who they could be free with and show their real selves without disappointing the person or getting judged.
It Shows You are not High Status
Women are naturally attracted to men of high status.
Well, it shows you’re dominant enough to conquer and become successful in certain vital areas of your life. And nature has made it that females get attracted to dominant males. Female wolves get attracted to the alpha wolf—which is the most dominant male in the pack.
So the same way you want to date incredibly gorgeous women, same way women want to date the most dominant man they could get their hands on.
It’s just a natural thing. That’s the way nature makes sure the organisms with strong and favorable traits survive and the weak ones die off. In Biology, we were taught that this is called natural selection which was proposed by Charles Darwin.
Now, when you put a lady on a pedestal, you communicate to her that you’re not a valuable man. Because high status men don’t place ladies on a pedestal.
Those men know that any lady should count herself lucky for him to be attracted to her, and he acts that way towards her. This makes the girl want to impress him and show the man she’s worthy to be his mate.
And when a girl is trying to impress you, she’s already chasing you.
Now, most men think being high status is about having money, driving expensive cars and putting on designer wears and watches. Well, that helps, but all that is just 20% of being high status. The rest is in your attitude and body language.
For instance, high status men are usually calm, confident, and relaxed. They move and carry themselves with elegance. They always seem in control of their life.
So when you’re interacting with a lady and she notices you’re so calm, serene, care-free, and oozing the vibe of confidence. You give her the impression that you’re a high status man. Even though she has not seen your account balance or a flashy car or a designer. She thinks to herself, “if you’re this calm and confident, there must be certain aspects of your life you’re really successful in.”
On the other hand, if you’re nervous, timid, and acting in a way like you’re worshiping her. It just relates to her subconscious mind that you’re not a high status man, even though you’re wearing Gucci and using an IPhone.
She just knows that you’re not a high status man—yet. Your money is still new-money.
Very Pretty Ladies Have Been The Easiest for Me
The surprising fact is, most girls who didn’t give me much resistance to make them my lovers or girlfriends are those 10/10’s—you know those incredibly gorgeous ladies. When I approached them so confidently, they are usually surprised because most guys are nervous when approaching them.
And when I moved so fast with them; going for the kiss, or inviting them to my apartment on the first date. They followed me most of the times without much resistance. Maybe because most guys take it so slow with them—I could never tell.
The thing is, once a girl notices you’re a bit different from other men she has been meeting, her attraction for you sky rockets and she becomes more compliant to your requests. Girls are adventurous beings, and they love to explore new things!!!
Unlike girls who are like 6 or 7s—you know, girls with average looks. They are already used to being moved fast by guys. So they’ve become a bit resistant. But with a little bit persuasion and seduction, they do oblige with me too.
Most Girls are not all About the Money
Another funny thing is that most guys think that these girls are all about money. Maybe it’s true. I don’t know. But what I know is, most of these gorgeous ladies are even the ones spending on me. You know it could be all the money these guys are splashing on them they’re spending on me. Who knows?
Listen to me bro, you can NEVER buy a woman’s love. Having money will attract lots of women to you, true. But you cannot make her love you truly by just splashing money on her. You need more—you need to connect to her emotions—usually with deep conversations and in the ozza room. Always remember that a woman is with you, doesn’t mean she’s yours.
How you can develop the right mindset to approach any woman? That is, not placing Women on a pedestal.
The truth is the mindset will not just come to you overnight. If you’re not used to approaching very beautiful ladies. You’ll still be nervous while approaching or interacting with them. And you might unconsciously start placing them on a pedestal.
However, when you apply the strategies I’ll give you below with consistency, with time you’ll roll with extremely gorgeous girls with confidence and calmness. And then treat them just like normal girls—which they are.
The strategies are:
Develop a High Self-esteem:
Self- esteem is simply how you like yourself. If you don’t like yourself very much, then you have a low self-esteem. On the other hand, if you like yourself very much, then you have a high self-esteem.
When you really like yourself, you’ll never sell yourself short. You’ll never say that a person is better or more valuable than yourself as a person. So always think highly of yourself.
You could try this exercise every day if you have self-esteem issues, it works.
Look into the mirror and say to your reflection:
“Your name; you’re the most awesome person I know. Nobody’s life is better than yours, and your life is not better than anyone’s life. So don’t allow another to make you feel inferior and don’t look down on anybody.”
Do this exercise every day, and when saying the above words; say it like you mean it.
2. Take Personal Development seriously:
For your high self-esteem to establish properly, you’ve to back it up with self-improvement. You’ve to make yourself your personal long-term most important project. Learn new skills, increase your income, eat healthier, exercise, register for a gym, dress well, and so on.
Learn to take proper care of yourself man, because that person you see when you look into the mirror will never abandon you. He will be with you until the end. Others might leave, but that awesome person will always be by your side. So take good care of him.
3. Develop the Abundance mentality:
You have to always remind yourself that they’re abundance of women in this world. They’re like more than two billion women out there. Two fucking BILLION brother! And the single ones who are not married are more than 500 MILLION.
You’ve to understand, that no girl is special—that is, better than other ladies. There will always be a woman out there who would make you feel better than that lady you think she’s one in a lifetime.
Every girl is unique in her own way. True, however, there’s no girl special enough that she can’t be replaced.
Keep repeating these facts to your brain until your subconscious mind captures it and you start acting like a guy with an abundance mentality. You’ll automatically start taking more risks with ladies. Because you’re no more scared of not getting that one particular lady. Because you know there are a lot of her type out there.
4. Approach more Gorgeous Ladies:
Those type of ladies you always think they’re out of your league. Yeah, those girls. You have to approach them more. The more you approach these girls, the less scary they become to you. You find out that they’re just normal girls shaa, nothing special.
And I suggest you approach them more OFFLINE. Their inbox are usually overcrowded with supplicating men who are begging, chasing, stalking, and worshiping them. So they might likely snub you if you slide into the DM.
However, very few guys usually have the confidence and boldness to approach them face-to-face. Hence, you’ll have a higher success rate approaching them offline than going about it online.
So get out there and approach lots of them!
Worst case scenario:
They reject you. But rejection is not life-threatening. It’s a normal thing in life. Let me reveal a secret to you: “If you want to be successful in any aspect of life; you have to get used to rejection.”
And the more you approach them, the more likely you’re going to meet one who likes you too. Maybe you approach like 50 of them, and two will click. If none clicks, you continue approaching until it clicks.
That’s how we roll here, if you want something, go for it and don’t stop until you get it. Now, this doesn’t mean if you want one particular lady, you should continue chasing her even if she’s running from you, till you catch her. NO!
I mean, if you want to date an incredible beautiful lady, don’t stop approaching gorgeous women until you find the one who likes you too.
You ought to know by now that we don’t chase women here. If a lady starts running from us, instead of chasing her, we replace her.
So bro, stop placing ladies on a pedestal. The same way you treat those average-looking ladies you like should be the same way you treat those strikingly gorgeous ladies who look like mermaids. No differential treatment!
Placing a girl on a pedestal is the surest way of losing that lady.
Always remember: Nobody or lady is out of your league.
About the Author: Gerald Dike
Gerald Dike is the founder of Relationship Strategies For Men. He has helped thousands of men have better interactions and healthy relationships with women of their dreams. He is also an entrepreneur in one of the biggest countries in Africa.
You can grab his new Book here==> The Attractive Man: How to Become the Man Who Women Desire And Chase