mate value

What is Your Mate Value? Find Out What You Are Actually Worth to Women

Your Mate Value.

Your Mate value is basically how valuable women perceive you to be as a mate. The higher your mate value, the easier it’s for you to attract and keep quality females in your life. On the other hand, the lower your mate value, the harder it’ll be for you to attract and keep quality women in your life.

Early last month, I asked a question in our Private Facebook Group

I asked:

“Apart from money, what else can YOU offer a woman in a relationship?”

A lot of guys gave their answers. It was quite interesting.

Well, it is good to know benefits you can offer to women. When you are aware that you’ll bring enormous value to any lady who comes into your life, you would act more confident and secure around ladies.


More Unique Benefits, Higher Your Mate Value

See the tricky part here. The more “unique” the benefits you provide to women are, the more valuable you become to them.

In simpler words, if you can provide for women what few men are capable of providing for them, they perceive you as a high status man who has a high mate value.

The truth is, most values most men think they provide for women can “easily” be provided by other men. Thus, making a lot of men’s mate value a bit average. This is the reason there are a lot of average men out there.

Examples of some of these values most men offer to women are:

Money, Attention/Time, Care, Love, Respect, Faithfulness, Loyalty, etc.

Now, let me show you why these above values are common to most women.



This is the main value majority of men think is most important to women. They believe that the more money they give and spend on a woman, the more valuable they become to her.

Well, I won’t argue with them. I believe experience is the best teacher, so I’ll let experience tutor them.

However, from my own experience and other men’s experience, I’m certain you can’t buy a woman’s love and loyalty.

But what do I know?

That one aside, let’s now see if providing money is actually a unique value only few men can provide to women:

  1. I don’t like using the word “stupid,” but it’s really necessary here. The fact is, when it comes to women matters, there are a lot of STUPID men out there. A whole lot! Men who are willing to spend their last penny and even borrow some more just to please a woman. And these men are always willing to provide funds for women.
  2. What about our sugar daddies and uncles? These men are capable of spending your yearly income on a girl, just for a night or weekend services.
  3. I hope you know women themselves are not mannequins, right? Some women actually work and earn enough money for themselves.

As you can see, an average girl has a lot of men willing to provide funds for her. Therefore, spending on women is a common benefit they could easily get from another source. Hence, it won’t add much to your mate value.


Attention, Love & Care

Have you ever gone through a girl’s inbox? Do you see how many guys offering their constant attention, love and care in return for just a little of her attention? Do you usually hang around hot girls? How often do their phones ring? A lot, right?

As you can also see, providing attention, love and care to girls ain’t that unique. Almost every guy on earth can offer that to women.


Respect And Faithfulness

These benefits are nice guys selling point nah. They are fond of promising girls utmost respect and unwavering faithfulness and loyalty. And most times, they stay true to their word. You can see it with the way they supplicate and place women on pedestals.

Also Read: Don’t Place Women on Pedestals; It’s a Sure Way to Lose Them

Unfortunately, there are a lot of nice guys out there. And that means there are a lot of men willing to respect and be faithful to women. Hence, it’s not a unique benefit; so it has little effect on your mate value.

Moreover, a man needs and desires respect and faithfulness more than a woman needs and desires it.


Now, don’t get me wrong. These above mentioned benefits are necessary, and you should provide them to women in the right amount. However, you should know that they matter very little to your desirability to women. That is, they won’t necessary make women desire you more or perceive you as a high status man.


The Unique Benefits Which Will Boost Your Mate Value

There are three major “unique” benefits you can provide to women which very few men are capable of providing. And once you can provide them efficiently, you become very valuable and rare to most women.

This in turn, would make them respect and desire you more.

These unique values are:


  1. Good Feelings

Women are very emotional beings. So it’s no surprise that their basic needs are all emotional. If you’re capable of making a woman feel the right emotions whenever she is with you, you become very valuable to her that she won’t want to let you go easily.

And you can be a provider of good feelings by:

  • Being a great conversationalist.
  • Knowing how to build deep emotional connection with women.
  • Having a great sense of humor (this is not an excuse to become an entertainer or comedian to women).
  • Being emotionally Intelligent/Mature.
  • Knowing how to flirt and seduce girls.

Is this benefit unique? Of course.

How many men believe it’s their duty to take care of the emotions of women and provide good feelings to them? Few men.

And most of the men who believe it’s their duty, don’t even know how to. They think is by supplicating to women, buying gifts and spending lavishly on women.


How do you know you provide good feelings to women?

Well, I got a few questions for you.

  • Do women feel empowered and inspired around you? Do you make them “genuinely” believe they can become whoever and whatever they desire in life… do you give them the sincere feeling that their dreams are still valid and attainable?
  • When ladies are with you, do they feel seduced and wet? Enough to want to tear your clothes apart?
  • Do you give women the feeling that you understand and relate to them probably more than any other person they know?
  • Do ladies always want to be with you, and usually feel reluctant leaving your presence?


If you answered yes to most of the questions; then you’re a man who provides good feelings to women. And that “value” is rare nowadays.  But if your answers were more of negative, then you need to work on that aspect and start providing good feelings to women.

The thing is, when you’ve mastered the art of providing good feelings to women, you’ll often get compliments like:

“Wow! You completely get me! You know it’s really hard to find someone who understands me like the way you do.”

“Nobody has ever made me feel the way you make me do.”

“I just love spending time with you…I just don’t know why.”


2. Personal Development

Due to the hypergamous nature of women, they are often attracted to men who are better than them in certain aspects of their life. Women value men they can actually learn beneficial things from. This is one the reasons women usually have a thing for intelligent men.

So when a girl notices that she can actually become a better individual by associating with you, you become very valuable to her.

But the thing is, before you can make another person better, you’ve to make yourself better. You can’t give what you don’t have. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

And this is the reason I always advise men to make themselves their most important long-term project. Learn to invest in yourself.


  • How many relevant skills do you have?
  • What new skills have you learned this year and how much has it earned you?
  • What books have you read so far this year? And have you implemented the knowledge you gained?
  • How many courses have you enrolled in?
  • Do you desire to be educated or entertained?

This value of providing personal improvement to girls is unique also because a lot of men are not taking their personal development seriously. They’re so comfortable being average. So, they end up giving half-baked advice and guidance to ladies.

Remember, you cannot teach what you don’t know, and you can’t give what you don’t have.


      3. Great Sex

Great sex is very important to women. Emphasis on the “great”

As a matter of fact, if you’re capable of giving a girl constant body-shaking orgasms, she’ll see you as a god.

But how many men can give women “real” orgasms? Few!

Although, a lot of men would claim to be a beast in the bedroom—because of our big ego.

Come on bro! Who are we kidding?

A research carried out in 2001 by Darling, Haavio-Mannila & Kontula titled: Predictors of orgasmic frequency, shows that 90% of men usually experience orgasm during sex while only about 50% of women experience one.

The bitter fact is that a lot of men suck in bed. I once did—was very lousy in bed. It was until I intentionally upgraded my skills before I started giving girls constant orgasms.

And if you ask women who have experienced orgasm before, they would tell you that having an orgasm is the most exciting, fulfilling and enjoyable sensation they’ve ever experienced.

So when you’re among the few men who can actually give women orgasms, your mate value skyrockets in their eyes.


Providing These Three Unique Values Will Amplify Other Values

The amazing thing is, when you’re capable of providing these unique values to women, they tend to appreciate it more when you provide those other common values.

For instance;

Let’s say you’re a man with relevant skills and high intellectual ability—someone who takes his personal development seriously. And you’re also capable of providing good feelings and blowing a girl’s mind constantly with powerful orgasms…

…now let’s assume you give a woman N10, 000…she’s going to value and appreciate that N10, 000 from you than N50, 000 from a guy who doesn’t provide these unique benefits for her.


It’s Easier Being Average

I really do understand why only a handful of men seem to provide these three important values to women.

The thing is, it takes a lot of self-discipline and intentional practice to master emotional control and emotional intelligence, which is key in providing good feelings and tending to women’s emotions effectively.

It’s way easier to act and react based on your emotions, and focus only on how you feel.

Personal development is hard. It’s difficult learning a new skill—the awkwardness, mistakes and failures which come with leaving your comfort zone is NOT easy to handle.

Picking up a book to read is not fun most times—especially when you’re still cultivating the habit of reading. Heck, a lot of men find it difficult to read online articles which are not usually up to 2000 words.

It’s easier and more fun to watch football, wrestling, movies and be entertained.

Giving women orgasms is not that easy—if it were, every woman would have experienced one. In order to give women constant orgasms, you’ve to understand certain nuances and techniques about sex. And understanding those techniques require some extra effort from you.

Moreover, it’s even harder to admit you’re not that good in sex because of the huge ego of men.

But it’s easier to concentrate only on your sexual satisfaction. Just enjoy yourself, cum and feel good. To hell with the girl’s satisfaction!



  •  Do not get frustrated when you’re unable to get the caliber of girls you want to be yours.
  • Do not get bitter or angry when your woman dumps you for a guy who has a higher mate value than you.
  • Never abuse ladies who look down on you and disrespect you because they feel you’re not on their level.
  • Don’t get mad or hate on your woman when she cheats on you with a guy who knows how to make her feel all the right emotions.

Life is all about choices. But for every choice you make or do not, comes with its own consequences.


And brother…

If you’re still dating women who ALL they can offer you is their body…you need to do better.

If you’re still dating women who the amount of money you spend on them is the ONLY factor they use in considering your mate value… you need to do better.

Never settle for less.

In the end, men who feel so “pressured” to spend lavishly on women are men who know that the only reasonable thing they can offer women is MONEY.

Brother, don’t be among those men.

Rather, work on and increase your mate value.



Gerald Dike.

About the Author: Gerald Dike

Gerald Dike is the founder of Relationship Strategies For Men. He has helped thousands of men have better interactions and healthy relationships with women of their dreams. He is also an entrepreneur in one of the biggest countries in Africa.

You can grab his new Book here==> The Attractive Man: How to Become the Man Who Women Desire And Chase

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