Do you have a Girlfriend?
We all have been asked that question: “Do you have a girlfriend?” At least once by a lady. Since ladies are more implicit talkers; you might have heard this question in different formats.
- Leave me alone, I don’t want somebody to break my head.
- Don’t come close to me, I’m too young for someone to pour me acid.
- So what did you girlfriend say about that?
- I know you have so many girlfriends nah and so on.
Basically they want to know if you’re in a relationship, and girls usually ask you that question, when they like you and would want to have something with you—whether a casual or committed stuff.
Do you have a girlfriend? Should you answer Yes or No?
When you’re faced with this question and you just answer, “No.” It gives girls this feeling that you’re not an attractive man. If you were an attractive man, you wouldn’t be single.
That means there’s something about you which is scaring ladies away from you. You’re risky, and ladies are not risk takers.
So she would probably ask you why you’re single, and if your answer is not satisfactory enough, her attraction for you drops.
You might even say, “No, I don’t just do committed relationships.” This answer just gives a woman the feeling that you’re an irresponsible man, who just goes around looking for ANY women to satisfy his sexual urge.
Trust me, you don’t want to give a woman the feeling she’s just ANOTHER woman to you. Women want to feel special, and if you don’t give them that special feeling they will run away.
On the other hand, if you say, “Yes,” then it might give her a feeling that you’re not available especially for a lady who has no strength for drama with a fellow lady. Or she might think of you as a guy who is not reliable—someone who goes about cheating on his girlfriend. Both is bad for you.
If you’re a regular reader here, you should know how I always emphasize on the importance of creating intrigue with women. When you just answer yes or no, you rob off the lady of all the intrigue. Also when you just give a yes or no answer it gives the lady the power. And as a man you should always have the power in your interactions with women.
Her: How old are you?
You: I’m 38 yrs.
Analysis: You’ve robbed her off the intrigue, and also you’ve handed her over the power to judge and analyze your answer. What if she thinks you’re too old for her or too young?
The best way is to keep the intrigue intact.
Her: How old are you?
You: [Smiles] why do you want to know?
Her: Nothing, just want to know.
You: I’m old enough. So tell me, you said you went to boarding school, how did you cope?
Analysis: As you can see, you built intrigue. She would keep wondering how old are you, and you still got the power.
Do you have a girlfriend? Don’t just give a Yes or No answer
So whenever you’re hit with that question, “Do you have a girlfriend question?” Answer indirectly, and avoid just giving a yes or no answer.
Her: Are you in a relationship?
You: Well, my life is too unstable right now to be in a relationship.
Analysis: You told her you’re not in relationship, however you created intrigue because she’s wondering what you mean by your life is unstable. So she would probably ask:
Her: How is your life unstable?
You: You know… I’m in this city today…tomorrow I’ll be in another city and might stay for like 6 months there. I mean, how can a lady cope with that. I don’t want to hurt the feelings of someone’s daughter.
Analysis: This tells her it’s not that you don’t want to be in relationship, but due to circumstances outside your control you can’t. And you’re considering another person’s feelings by not wanting to start what you can’t maintain—that shows you’re a gentleman and considerate. All this turns a woman on, and she would definitely bed you faster because you’ve already removed yourself from the commitment category. So she doesn’t have much to lose with you—since she sees no future with you, after all you might leave town tomorrow.
This is one of the frame control you use on women, when you just want a causal relationship with them.
In case, you don’t move around much, you don’t have to lie to girls you travel much. You could say:
Her: Do you have a girlfriend?
You: I’m so busy to have one right now. I don’t want any lady to feel like I’m taking her for granted; you know you people need attention.
Analysis: First of all, this tells her you’re a high status man who is too busy for ladies. Secondly, you created intrigue because she would want to know what’s taking all your time. Thirdly, you’re a considerate person that you don’t want make a lady feel taken for granted. Finally, you’ve just CHALLENGED her to do what other ladies have not done—getting your attention. And you know ladies love a man who is a challenge to her but is still attainable.
But if you want her as a girlfriend, should you still disqualify yourself as a boyfriend material?
Yes, you should. Whenever you disqualify yourself as a boyfriend or committed relationship material, girls tend to get freer with you. That means they’re likely to get down with you faster—than that guy who presented himself as the perfect boyfriend. As long as you keep moving fast and bold with her while being elusive and seductive.
And do you know what happens when you get down with women two or more times, and then you start treating her like a girlfriend—doing stuff together, giving her listening ears a bit more, and stuff? She starts pushing for commitment from you.
This is why I’ve been begging my fellow brothers, please stop asking girls: “Be my girlfriend/woman?” When you ask them this question, most of them start forming. Telling you, “Give me some time,” “Why do you want me as a girlfriend?” And other annoying stuffs they say.
When a lady asks you, “Do you have a girlfriend?” Or other similar questions; keep calm, disqualify yourself as a boyfriend, create intrigue, show her you’re considerate and then challenge her. And if you paid attention to the post, you know how you can add all these things to your answer(s).
See you soon,
About the Author: Gerald Dike
Gerald Dike is the founder of Relationship Strategies For Men. He has helped thousands of men have better interactions and healthy relationships with women of their dreams. He is also an entrepreneur in one of the biggest countries in Africa.
You can grab his new Book here==> The Attractive Man: How to Become the Man Who Women Desire And Chase