So in the part II of this approach series, I talked about how you can use the indirect approach techniques to meet and talk to any woman; how and when to use it; the advantages and disadvantages; so today, I’ll be talking about the direct approach techniques.
Don’t Miss That Opportunity Again
Let’s say you saw this particular lady walking towards you in the street and immediately you saw her, you said to yourself;
“I would love to get to know her.”
And you know you don’t have the time to use indirect approach. You know you have to move fast or else she’s gone… maybe gone forever. But you don’t know how to go about it; what to say; how to say it or when to say it.
So you manufacture an excuse not to talk to her; ‘there’s too many people’, ‘she surely has a boyfriend’ or other flimsy excuses you say to yourself as she walks pass you.”
Luckily for you, after reading this post and paying attention to it, you will never let the woman you like walk pass you without approaching her… like a boss.
Are you ready?
If you’re not… I am.
The Direct Approach
In direct approach, when you approach a lady, you show her immediately that you like her and you’re interested in her. No time for chit-chat unlike in the indirect approach.
This is my favorite approach strategy currently. Nowadays, I’m really not in the mood for all those chit-chat of indirect approach. But before I give you the strategies of direct approaching; there are certain things you need to know and do during direct approaching, and these things will determine greatly if the lady is going to give you her number or blow you off.
So pay attention to this.
Vital Things Important During Direct Approach
1. CONFIDENCE: If you’re directly approaching any lady, you need to be confident. Why? Because every woman finds a confident man attractive. If you’re not, she’ll definitely notice and will perceive you as a weak man who is scared of talking to women. And trust me, women don’t react positively to that.
So that’s why I always advise greenhorns to start with indirect approaching first. And when they’re feeling more confident talking with random ladies; they could now switch up to the direct approach.
2. BODY LANGUAGE: Naturally, women are really good at interpreting body language, unlike most men. So when approaching a lady; have a positive body language. That means your chest should be a bit out, head straight-up and shoulders even.
3. EYE CONTACT: When talking with a woman, make eye contact with her. Don’t be scared to stare into her eyes. Let her be the one to look away first. If you look away immediately she stares at you, she interprets it as weakness on your part. But if you lock eyes with her, holding her gaze…it gives her the feeling you’re a powerful confident man.
Hey wait… this doesn’t mean you should stare into her eyes all through the conversation. That would be creepy. Look away for a second or two at intervals, and then look back into her eyes.
4. SMILE: When approaching a woman, you should try to smile. Why? First of all she doesn’t know you. Secondly, she doesn’t know your intentions; you could be a thief or kidnapper. So if you smile when approaching a lady, she feels more relaxed knowing that your intentions are good and friendly.
Now, let’s get to those approach strategies properly.
The Direct Approach Strategies
6+3 = 9; 5+4= 9; 7+2 = 9 ; 8+1= 9.
Relax bro, we’ve not switched to Math class. I just wanted to show you that there are more than one ways of doing something right. So there are a lot of techniques to approach a girl directly and get her number.
However, I’m going to show you my own way.
Now there’s this technique I normally use; and it has worked and is still working for me and other guys I’ve revealed this formula to. I call it the ‘SOIA’ formula.
‘S’ stands for; Stop her.
‘O’ stands for; Open her (delivering your Opening line).
‘I’ stands for; Introduce yourself.
‘A’ stands for; Ask for her number or/and date.
I’ll explain the elements of the formula, one after the other.
A) STOP HER
If she’s not in a motion, maybe she’s just seated far away from where you are… you just have to go to her and jump to the formula no 2 (which is delivering your opening line). However, if she’s in motion… you MUST stop her.
Most times, I see guys walking fast trying to match a girl’s pace and at the same time trying to talk to her. That’s a wrong move bro. Don’t do that or stop doing that (if you’ve been doing that).
When a lady is walking along the street or someplace… her mind is somewhere else and if you’re talking to her as she’s still walking, she won’t give you her full attention. However, if you stop her; you got her full attention.
And it’s very easy to stop a lady.
You just have to move towards her from where she can see you coming (it’s really not advisable to approach a lady from her back, it might scare her and that’s not a good first impression); motion your hand for her to stop; and as you’re doing that you say something like ‘Excuse me for a second’,‘Hey dear’, ‘Hi’ and so on.
Most ladies are going to stop if you do this confidently.
And if a lady doesn’t stop, don’t chase after her… there’s 99% chance she’s gonna reject you anyway.
B) OPEN HER
So immediately she stops. You now deliver your opening line… or ‘opener’ like we call it.
I always advise guys to start the opener with a compliment. This shows her immediately that you’re interested in her.
However, it’s not wise to just stop a lady and just tell her “you have lovely eyes”… You have to make the compliment meaningful so it could favor you.
How do I mean? I’ll show you.
So you saw this lady walking towards you and you stopped her and said;
“Hey dear, I saw you walking over here… and I just had to tell you that you’ve very lovely eyes…”
Don’t you think this one is better? Yeah, I can see you smiling and nodding.
Just try to make the compliment genuine.
C) INTRODUCE YOURSELF
Immediately you compliment her… don’t wait for her to respond to the compliment; introduce yourself immediately.
I’ll continue with the above example.
“Hey dear, I saw you walking over here… and I just had to come tell you that you’ve very lovely eyes… I’m Gerald and you?” (While extending your hand for a handshake)
Now most girls will tell you their name while shaking your hand too.
So to the final element of the formula.
D) ASK FOR HER NUMBER OR DATE
Like I told you earlier, in direct approach, you don’t waste time. So after she must have told you her name; you try to ask her for phone number or date. However, just like the compliment, you just don’t say “can you give me your number” or “give me your number”.
You have to add a reason to it, so it could be more meaningful.
I’ll still continue with the above example:
“… I’m Gerald and you?”
“I’m Aisha” she answered.
Then you could add a little humor or compliment her a bit.
“A lovely lady with lovely eyes and a lovely name. I love that”
Then you ask her for the number
“I really need to see these lovely eyes again Aisha… can I have your number so we can grab a drink sometime?”
Or you could say
“I don’t want to waste much of your time dear, but it was really nice meeting you… we should hang out sometime. Let me have your number”
Something like that! Now was that hard?
- I think the hardest part in direct approaching is walking towards the lady; if you could just keep your feet moving towards the girl, the worst is over.
- Be polite and persistent. Sometimes, a lady would give you some resistance right from the start. Don’t get pissed… just brush it off in a funny and sarcastic manner.
In fact when talking with new girls, is always best to do so in a funny and sarcastic way.
I approached this particular lady; delivered my opener and introduced myself; she just blurted her name as if she wasn’t interested;
I still went ahead to ask for her number.
“No”, she replied. “I don’t give my number to strangers”.
At this point most guys would accept defeat and leave, or worse get angry. However, I brushed it off in a funny and sarcastic manner.
“I’m not a stranger jare” I said while smiling. “For starters, I know your name and you know mine. And I know certain things about you”
“What things do you know about me?” She asked curiously.
“First of all, I know that you breathe in Oxygen and breathe out Carbon dioxide everyday…”
As she heard this, she started smiling.
“… and I also know you brush your teeth every morning using a toothbrush” I continued. “I can go on and on about what I know about you… so as you can see I’m not a stranger”.
She was now smiling and looking into my eyes (positive body language)
“There’s actually no harm in giving me your number; if we roll and you don’t like me, you could always ignore me… and if I bug you- which I won’t; you can always block me”
As I said this, I handed her my phone and she gave me her number.
And like they say; “The rest is history”.
When to use Direct Approach
- If the lady is in motion… maybe she’s walking along the street or mall; or she’s jogging and so on. Use the direct approach.
- When she’s far away from you, direct approach would be best; because it would be quite awkward for you to walk across a room to meet a girl just to start a casual conversation with her.
- When you use the direct approach, the lady knows immediately you’re interested in her, unlike the indirect approach which usually makes your intention uncertain.
- Most times, only ladies who are romantically interested in you too would respond positively to your approach . Unlike the indirect approach where both girls who are interested in you and those who are not, could give you their contacts.
So, direct approach helps to filter ladies for you. Hence direct approach saves you time.
- It takes confidence to carry out compared to the indirect approach.
- The rejection rate is high. 50% of the time, you might get rejected.
We’ve come to the end of the series of this post: “How to approach any woman, anytime and anywhere”
However, this knowledge is only going to be useful to you, ONLY when you put it to practice.
So go out there and start talking to women!
Also in my book, The Attractive Man, I revealed in-depth approach strategies which work so effortlessly on strikingly gorgeous women.
You can get the book by clicking==> HERE
About the Author: Gerald Dike
Gerald Dike is the founder of Relationship Strategies For Men. He has helped thousands of men have better interactions and healthy relationships with women of their dreams. He is also an entrepreneur in one of the biggest countries in Africa.
You can grab his new Book here==> The Attractive Man: How to Become the Man Who Women Desire And Chase