No Differential Treatment
Do you give certain girls a differential treatment? Fact is, almost every guy does this.
Imagine a typical guy–let’s call him Steven. Now, Steven is a sharp guy who usually moves fast with ladies; who is bold enough to flirt and show new girls sexual intent. However, Steven meets this girl newly and his subconscious mind communicates to him that the girl is different from the other girls he has been meeting. Therefore, Steven believed that in order to get the girl, he has to follow an entirely different approach—he has to give her a differential treatment.
So, he starts taking things with the girl more slowly than usual. He starts acting timid around her, pretending to be nonsexual like a monk—just like a typical nice guy.
It Happens to the Best of Us
In early 2017, when I was already pretty advanced with women; I still found myself giving certain ladies a differential treatment.
I usually move extremely fast with women. Normally, I don’t do third dates with ladies—if I’ve not gotten a girl after the second date, I usually let her go. But, with some girls, I found myself doing third and fourth dates with them. I was literally chasing those girls—something I made a decision never to do with any girl.
One thing I always do is to self-analyze every aspect of my life. This helps me to see habits of mine which are productive and the ones which are less productive. After the self analysis, I then cut off habits which are less effective and start doing more of those habits which bring me more positive results.
So, I sat down one day and analyzed the success rate I had when I moved fast and more sexually with girls against when I moved slowly and friendlier with ladies.
I was totally wowed with what I found out. I realized that I moved fast and more sexually with girls who finally became mine. While most of the girls I gave a differential treatment by moving so slowly with them, ended up friend zoning me or telling me to give them some time to sort things out; and along the line something happened and it didn’t work out again.
It was that day I made the firm decision to toast/chyke/woo a new girl the same way. And ever since then, I move fast and more sexually with EVERY girl—no differential treatment!
Differential Treatment is as a Result of the Scarcity Mentality
During that self-analysis, I also found out that the main reason I gave those girls a differential treatment was because I thought their type were rare to find—I saw them as a scarce commodity.
The thing is, whenever you think of something as scarce, you tend to be too cautious—you try to handle it with so much care so that you won’t lose it. However, when you’re too cautious with girls, they’ll detect it—then start acting too important and forming more for you. And this can be very frustrating.
In the post titled; “Don’t Rush into a Committed Relationship with any Girl,” I mentioned that the girls I prefer to have committed relationships are girls who are a bit conservative, submissive, ambitious and are book lovers.
So back then, whenever I saw a girl with similar qualities; my brain will tell me, “Gee, this girl is exactly your type of girl; so don’t fuck this up. You might not see a girl like her again.”
And then I’ll start wooing the girl differently because I saw her as scarce.
However, with time I was able to overcome that scarcity mentality I had with those sort of girls. How did it was to find out where I could find similar girls in abundance. And when I approached and mingled with a lot of those girls who were my type—my brain stopped interpreting them as scarce.
No Differential Treatment
As I mentioned earlier, I don’t woo any new girl differently. For every new girl I meet, I move fast with her. That is, I try to connect emotionally with her ASAP; I start flirting and seducing her immediately I’ve connected emotionally with her and then I lead her to someplace where we could be alone so I could push for intimacy.
It is ONLY when I get that intimacy that I now consider if the girl is worth being in a committed relationship with. If I find her worthy; I’ll then convert her into a girlfriend. But if she’s not worthy; I keep the relationship casual.
I have a personal rule when it comes to relationship: “I don’t enter a committed relationship with a girl I’ve not being intimate with.” I don’t do no-sex relationship; so I make sure the lady and I are on the same page before entering the relationship.
Now, have I lost girls because I moved fast with them? Yes, of course. However, the girls I’ve lost because I moved slowly with them are 5x the number of girls I lost because they thought I was moving too fast with them.
Since I’m a guy after results and not reactions; I usually go with techniques and strategies which brings me more positive results. So, that’s why I stick with moving fast with ladies.
Someone once said, “It is not the same way you toast a girlfriend, you toast a wife.” Well, that quote doesn’t work for me because it is the exact same way I woo every girl whether I think she would make a good lover, girlfriend or wife.
Now, I would want you to self-analyze yourself and check the success rate between when you moved fast with girls and when you decided to take things more slowly and platonic. If moving slow works best for you; then stick to it. However, if moving fast has worked best for you; then stick to it with EVERY new girl you meet. No differential Treatment!
Till next time,
About the Author: Gerald Dike
Gerald Dike is the founder of Relationship Strategies For Men. He has helped thousands of men have better interactions and healthy relationships with women of their dreams. He is also an entrepreneur in one of the biggest countries in Africa.
You can grab his new Book here==> The Attractive Man: How to Become the Man Who Women Desire And Chase