Alpha male

How to Become an Alpha Male Who Women and Other Men Respect

The Alpha Male

If you ask 10 guys if they want to become an alpha male; 5 would likely say ‘yes’ and the other 5 would say they’re already an alpha male.

But the truth is a lot of men don’t really know what it means to be an alpha male. Most people think it’s by being muscular, loud and doing whatever pleases you not minding whether you’re hurting other people. That’s not who an alpha is and in this post I’ll explain what it really means to be an alpha male.


How The Alpha Male Thingy Started

Now, let’s go back to the origin of the term, “alpha male.” The use of this terminology actually started as scientists were studying animal behavior especially the males. So, they used these terminologies to differentiate animals based on their behavior.

These terminologies include:

  • Alpha [The leader]
  • Beta [Second in command]
  • Gamma
  • Delta
  • Omega [least member in the group]
  • Nomad [This term is used for an animal that usually goes alone. He doesn’t hang around in groups]


Now, let’s take a wolf as an example. Wolves exist in groups called Packs.

The alpha wolf is the leader of the pack. He leads and the other wolves in the pack follow. He also protects and looks out for the pack. And he has access to the top female wolves in the pack.

The beta wolf is the second in command—like a vice president. He assists the alpha to run the pack efficiently. He takes charge of the pack when the alpha wolf is not around or is killed.

Gamma, Delta and Omega are other members of the pack in descending order of hierarchy.

Nomad, on the other hand, popularly known as the lone wolf, belongs to no pack. However, he can easily become an alpha of a pack; if he could challenge and defeat the current alpha of that pack; thereby taking over the pack.

What This Means For You

This means to become a true alpha male; you’ve to become a leader. That is, you’ve to know how to lead.  Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve to lead a large group of people, no. The thing is, where there are two or more people hanging together; there’s always a leader.

In every clique of friends; there is always a leader there. Pay attention from now in groups of friends; both boys and girls; you’ll likely observe who is the leader, second in command and the omega.

However, this doesn’t mean you should not be a follower to other leaders. Being a follower doesn’t make you less of an alpha male. To succeed in life; you must follow others. Even your role models and mentors also have their own role models and mentors.

Truth is, most great leaders began as followers—but not just as mere followers, rather as intelligent followers.

So, what actually makes you an alpha is having leadership qualities.


Three Forms of Leadership

There are three basic types of leadership:

  1. Autocratic Leadership: In this type of leadership, the leader makes every decision solely by himself. He neither listens nor tolerates any contrary opinion from his followers. In simpler words, this is the leadership by force.
  2. Laissez Faire Leadership: This sort of leadership allows total freedom to the followers. The leader is lenient to a fault. He allows his followers to do whatsoever they want, whenever they want it. He doesn’t make it clear there are limits.
  3. Democratic Leadership: In democratic style of leadership, the leader makes it clear that everyone has roles and limits. However, he entertains opinions from his followers before he makes a major decision and he genuinely cares about the well-being of his followers.

Democratic leadership is most efficient of the three and the one which would make you a true alpha male.


Qualities of a Democratic Leader

Below are some of the leadership qualities every alpha male should possess

  • Self-Control: A good leader has great self-discipline to control himself. During time of crises/problems, he doesn’t freak out and start throwing tantrums at everyone. Instead he remains calm, cool and immediately seeks solutions to the problems. Only when you’ve learned how to control yourself, can you control and lead others effectively.
  • Decisiveness: An alpha male always has an idea of what he wants in every situation; hence he reaches decision fast and changes his decision slowly. Someone who is indecisive cannot be a leader.
  • Self-Confidence: A man who is not self-confident cannot be courageous enough to lead others. You must believe in yourself and your capabilities before you become an effective leader.
  • Vision: In order to lead people; you’ve to know where you’re going or what you wish to achieve. You should always have a clear picture in your head.
  • Integrity: Every great leader has integrity. That is, he is a man of his words. He is trustworthy.


How to become An Alpha Male

The below steps will provide a guide which help you become the true alpha.

  • Know your Tolerance Limit

You should always know what you cannot take from women and people in general. Never let anyone be comfortable disrespecting you. However, gracefully communicate your boundaries to people. Don’t blurt it out and start raising your voice to show you don’t like the behavior. Most times, a subtle nonverbal communication is enough.

For instance, you’re talking with a girl and she’s being rude or making silly remarks which you don’t like. Instead of shouting at her to caution her; you could easily withdraw your attention from her and start talking with another girl or person.

Maybe a girl cuts the call on you; instead of barking at her the next time you see her; you could just stop calling her. And when she asks why you don’t call again; you could calmly tell her that you didn’t think she wanted to hear from you again since she cut the call last time you spoke on the phone.

In the above scenarios you’ve communicated clearly that you won’t tolerate those attitudes–without being dramatic about it.


  • Don’t Be a Try Hard

As a male ape rises in status, he becomes more subtle. If you’ve gone to the zoo or seen animal movies involving apes; you’ll notice the most dominant gorilla doesn’t jump around trying to impress people or other apes; rather he sits so calmly at one corner. It is only the lesser dominant apes which are hyperactive–jumping from one place to another.

Hence, to be an alpha male, you should stop trying so hard to impress people especially in socializing situations. Never be the entertainer. Just be the guy who is warm, calm, listens more and contributes intelligently whenever necessary.


  • Don’t Bully Others: Instead Build Them up

As you know an alpha male is mainly about possessing leadership qualities. A good leader doesn’t beat people down; instead he builds them up. He criticizes less and compliments more; he inspires.

So, a jerk that always derives fun in showing how weak and irrelevant others are compared to himself is not an alpha. A man who shows how big he is by showing how small other men are; is not an alpha male—he is just a poseur.

And most men won’t respect him for long and quality women won’t be attracted to him.

Observe every great leader you know; you’ll realize that he motivates and inspires people more rather than beating them down. Hence, you should learn to inspire people more rather than criticizing them.


  • Move Fast

There was a video I watched sometime ago. A herd of wild cattle were passing and a lioness was aiming to pick one out. She was waiting for the right moment, so was very hesitant. Suddenly, a male lion from nowhere jumped in and clamped down one cow immediately.

This is the same with alpha men; they don’t waste unnecessary time.

If they see a girl they like; they approach her immediately. They don’t waste time trying to exchange thousand texts and calls with a girl before they ask her out on an offline date. They don’t hesitate to pitch their business idea to a prospective investor. Alpha men don’t have self-doubts. So, if you wish to become an alpha male, you’ve to let go of all timidity and shyness.  Replace them with boldness, persistence and assertiveness.


How Being an Alpha Male affects Your Interactions with Women

Women are naturally wired to be attracted to men who can take charge and lead. Once, they notice you’re that kind of man; they become warmer with you; respect you and allow you to bed them easily.



Being an alpha male is not necessarily about having a muscular body physique or by being overly loud or bullying other men. No, not at all.

Being an alpha is about possessing leadership qualities (self-control, decisiveness, self-confidence, vision, and integrity)

And you can become this man by:

  • Knowing what you can and cannot tolerate from people and communicating it gracefully.
  • Not being a try hard
  • Inspiring and motivating more instead of criticizing.
  • Moving fast and always entering action with boldness.


See you next time,



About the Author: Gerald Dike

Gerald Dike is the founder of Relationship Strategies For Men. He has helped thousands of men have better interactions and healthy relationships with women of their dreams. He is also an entrepreneur in one of the biggest countries in Africa.

You can grab his new Book here==> The Attractive Man: How to Become the Man Who Women Desire And Chase

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