When a New Girl Acts Rude or Aloof.
During the weekly scheduled phone call with one of the men I coach privately, he complained that sometimes he would meet a new girl and she would talk or treat him in such a demeaning manner.
And whenever he’s faced with that situation, he runs out of ideas on how to react or handle such situation. So, I explained to him why some ladies act that way and how he could handle that sort of situation next time.
Then, I thought to myself, maybe some bros here might be facing a similar situation. So, I decided to make a post about it.
Why a New Girl Might Act Rude or Nonchalant
Before I tell people the solution to a problem or situation, I always like to explain the reason(s) it occurred in the first place. I believe it makes things clearer.
So why would a new girl you approached, act as if she’s “up there” and you’re “down there”? Well, the answer is simple.
She’s testing you or rejecting you. But most of the time, it’s a test. She’s trying to play the “status” game with you.
As you all know by now, the main biological instinct of females is to mate and carry the seeds of the most dominant male she could attract to herself.
And we also know that dominant means success or high-status. This means that, naturally, women prefer and seek high-status men as mates.
So, when you meet a girl newly, one of the things she would want to find out is, “how dominant are you?” “Are you a high-status man?”
And a girl normally knows this with the way you coordinate yourself and how you respond to her tests.
High Status Men React to Things Differently
Like I always tell men, being high-status is not all about the amount of money you have. It’s mainly about your attitude and how you react to things.
For instance, if someone insults a high status man, he usually laughs it off and ignores the person. Because he knows when he replies the insult with insults, he has only succeeded in bringing himself down to the troll’s level.
There is a popular saying that goes like this:
“There are two things always on the lips of a successful person; Silence and Smile.”
On the other hand:
A man of low status is always quick to reply insults with more insults.
Why? Well, because most of them have low self-esteem and self-confidence.
I mean, if you’re certain beyond doubt that you’re awesome, and someone tells you that you suck; won’t you just laugh it off and ignore the clueless idiot?
However, if you’re still uncertain about yourself and capabilities…if you don’t think highly of yourself, then you would easily be offended by others’ opinion of you.
Think about this…
What if you go through RMD’s IG account and you saw him exchanging insults with trolls in his comment sections… wouldn’t you be disappointed?
When Eric Cantona, the Manchester United Football Legend, kicked a fan for insulting him, didn’t you think it was childish?
What about the time Zidane head-butted Materazzi in retaliation to Marco’s insults? A part of you didn’t expect that from Zidane, you felt he was too big to act that way.
You now get my point.
“High status men are meant to react to things differently”
When You React Emotionally to Women’s Test; They Know You’re Low-Status
If you walk up to that new girl and she starts acting rude or aloof…and you react angrily or retaliate her rudeness with insults, you’ve clearly shown her that you’re not a high status man.
On the other hand, if you supplicate and try so hard to “please” her when she’s acting rude or aloof, you’ve also given her the impression that you’re a low status man.
So what should you do?
Act like a High Status Man
The best thing to do when a new girl is acting rude or indifferent is to take it with humor and withdraw your attention from her—without showing anger or bitterness.
In mid-July, this year, I went for a friend’s house party. I came a bit early because I helped to arrange some logistics for the party. So when I was through with that, I sat down with one of my gees making some chit-chat–waiting for more people to arrive, so that the party could come alive.
It was then this sweet chocolate skinned lady walked in. She had a tiny waist and her hips was just “damn!” As fate would have it, she sat near me—just some centimeters away.
So I let her settle for about 50 secs, then I opened her.
“Hey, how are you doing?” I said with a charming smile.
She sluggishly looked my way. From her facial expression and body language, you would think she was the Queen of the World, while I was her lowest ranked servant—who shouldn’t have thought of talking to her.
“Fine,” she finally responded with such an uninspiring tone, and then looked away.
I ignored the rude attitude and continued
“So are you a friend of the celebrant?”
This time she waited like 7 secs before saying so casually,
“Kinda,” and she didn’t even look my way again.
Immediately I noticed what she was trying to do. I let out a low chuckle and I said casually,
Then I slowly returned my attention to my gee and we continued our chit-chat like nothing just happened.
So as the party progressed, I socialized with other people, danced…enjoying myself.
A while later, I went out to the corridor of the apartment to catch some fresh air.
“Since you’ve been in this party, you’ve been holding a drink…take it easy though,” a familiar voice said.
I turned around to see who this chief advisor was. Behold, it was the same girl—the one who was acting all superior a while ago.
I knew she wanted to make amends for her bad behavior earlier…because I’ve beaten her to her “status game”
Knowing how it was difficult for her to make that move, I decided to help her ministry.
“Do you want me to get one for you?” I responded with a mischievous smirk.
“No, thanks… I don’t take alcohol,” she answered, as she looked into my eyes for the first time.
“Really? Why is that so? I inquired…
To cut the long story short, we talked like 15 minutes there (well, it’s more like she talked—because she did most of the talking).
After that, I took her inside and we danced…then we agreed to meet up later in the week.
We met as agreed, and I took her as my lover the same day.
Reacting emotionally to a girl’s Rudeness Will Blow Your Chances With Her
I’m definitely sure if I acted all bitter or angry because of her earlier rudeness, she wouldn’t have come back.
And she could have also written me off as a low status man if I had supplicated to her rudeness by acting like a wussy.
As long as you’re meeting new girls, you would definitely encounter the ones who would act so rude or aloof with you. If that happens, don’t take it personally, just take it with humor and withdraw your attention from them—without showing bitterness or anger.
50% of the time, the new girl would try to reestablish contact with you. You should also respond this way with other people.
So when someone insults or trolls you next time, don’t respond with insults. It’s always best to ignore them.
The thing is, it’s usually low-status people who have time and energy to go around insulting and trolling people.
High-status persons don’t have that kind of time. You don’t see Dangote or Innoson or Strive insulting and trolling people.
So never allow low status people to drag you down to their level.
And in the occasion where they become constant pain in your ass, look for a way to teach them a lesson they won’t forget anytime soon.
Actions always speak louder than words.
Remember the two things a successful person always has in his lips: Silence and Smile.
About the Author: Gerald Dike
Gerald Dike is the founder of Relationship Strategies For Men. He has helped thousands of men have better interactions and healthy relationships with women of their dreams. He is also an entrepreneur in one of the biggest countries in Africa.
You can grab his new Book here==> The Attractive Man: How to Become the Man Who Women Desire And Chase