The Nice Guys Problem:
Sometime ago, one of our bros Kardinal, posted a pic in our Facebook group where a lady said, I quote
“I think almost every woman knows a man who would do almost anything for her. Yet the honest truth is although a lot of us know at least one guy who would worship the ground we walk on, many of us just aren’t mentally or physically attracted to him. It’s unfortunate.”
Look at the picture below:
First of all, I wish to commend the lady that wrote this, we need more ladies who are brutally honest. That’s the truth; ladies are not attracted to those guys who worship them; you know the nice guys.
I know a lot of guys are wondering, saying something like;
“Why? Ladies are so annoying and confusing. How on earth wouldn’t they like guys who treat them like a goddess?”
Ahaha!!! I’ll explain the reason in this post.
WHY GIRLS ARE NOT USUALLY ATTRACTED TO NICE GUYS
You might argue that nice guys provide women with things every guy think a girl wants (attention, care, gifts, money and so on). True, however most nice guys don’t provide a woman’s NEEDS.
One of the main needs of a woman is she wants a CHALLENGE. The same way most guys (I’m not included though) like and value a lady more, when she forms hard-to-get for them; so do women like and value a man who is a challenge to them. A guy who shows he’s interested in them, but does not seem overly interested. Hence they’ll be challenged to try to use their strength of a woman to win him over to make him become overly interested in them. When they do it, it boosts their self-esteem as a woman.
But on the contrary, nice guys upon meeting a girl they like, show the girl immediately that they’re already heads-over-heels madly in love with her. This kills the girl’s excitement which she could have gotten by chasing them and trying to win them over. And once a girl is no longer excited about you, her attraction for you dies.
The bitter truth is that nice guys are cheap, and ladies don’t like cheap guys.
What Attracts You to a Woman?
I know some of our good brothers who are husband material will answer good character, God fearing, prayerful… Lol! Who are we deceiving?!
The MAIN thing that attracts you to a woman is her looks; her physical appearance. Simple! Others are secondary considerations for men.
Okay, tell me why you’re not attracted to that awkwardly looking sister who’s obviously well-mannered and very prayerful? Why did you leave her, and be looking at that other very gorgeously looking sister? You see!
But, this is not the same with ladies attraction. Basically, ladies are attracted to powerful, dominant, and confident men. A lady would be more attracted and would prefer as mate an average looking guy who acts powerful, dominant, and confident, to an extremely good looking guy who acts timid and looks like someone who’ll be a pushover. When a guy is worshiping the ground a lady is walking on, it does not show traits of power, dominance, and confidence. Hence, a woman will not feel that attraction for him.
I mean, could you imagine James Bond worshiping or running after any woman, no matter how beautiful or gorgeous she is? Hell No!!! James Bond knows that every woman is just a woman; he doesn’t place them on pedestals, he knows they’re silly but cute, and treats them as such, and that turns women on.
While putting a girl on pedestal, thinking she’s the prettiest and the most unique being you ever laid your eyes on; you see her as a goddess and treating her as such— turns women off. She’ll no longer see you as a mate, but as a fan. Trust me, no woman wants to date her fan.
It’s not like women do this on purpose. No, they can’t actually control it. It’s biologically wired in them, same way it’s biologically wired in men to check an endowed lady out. Hence, it’s not women’s fault that they do not like nice guys.
Another reason is that since nice guys place women on pedestals, they’re usually scared to seduce these girls, because they see her as this pure goddess. Hence, they avoid bringing up sexual topics when talking with women; they avoid flirting with them; they act so politely when they’re with women (just so you know, there’s no politeness in seduction).
If you don’t seduce a woman, how do you expect her to be attracted to you romantically? As you can see nice guys neglect another vital need of women. Women need to be SEDUCED.
So if you’re a nice guy, please drop that act; it won’t get you girls of your taste.
ALL HOPE IS NOT LOST FOR NICE GUYS
But it’s not all bad for nice guys. Most nice guys actually end up marrying very gorgeous and pretty women.
When a woman’s instinct kicks in, and tells her it’s time to settle down, if the guy(s) she’s dating at the moment are not serious to commit; the dominant and alpha men. She’ll leave them, and will consider the best among the nice guys she knows.
A woman’s primary biological instinct is to carry favorable seeds (that is, children from a dominant man), and find a provider, someone who could provide security for her and her children. Hence, a woman could find a nice guy who has a good job, and would be a good father to her kids and marry him. Even though she might go into the marriage carrying that other man’s child (the more dominant man, because biologically, a woman is wired to carry the kids of the most dominant man she could attract). This is the reason why there are a lot rumors going around that 40% of men’s firstborns are not actually theirs.
You know whenever they talk about DNA test, most women go on a frenzy. Hahaha. This might be the reason. They might even come after me when they see this post. But Gerald always have to let the truth free.
Being a nice guy won’t get you girls you want—at least not when you want them. You’ll always be the second option. It’s always best to be an attractive man who provides women needs while making his intention clear to them from the start, and then moving fast with them.
About the Author: Gerald Dike
Gerald Dike is the founder of Relationship Strategies For Men. He has helped thousands of men have better interactions and healthy relationships with women of their dreams. He is also an entrepreneur in one of the biggest countries in Africa.
You can grab his new Book here==> The Attractive Man: How to Become the Man Who Women Desire And Chase