Men are Natural Risk Takers: Women are Not
Last time on this series—Differences between Men and Women; I discussed about the different biological instincts of male and female. If you missed that one, read it HERE
So, today we’re going to talk about the tolerance for risk of the both genders.
Men: The Risk Takers
Naturally, men are risk takers. We are motivated to tread where no man has ever trod. It romances our ego to do what no man has ever done.
Apart from having the instinct to spread our genes among quality females, another biological instinct of males is to protect and provide.
Fact is, a man who always avoids taking risks cannot be able to gather enough resources in this competitive world, in order to provide adequately for his loved ones. Therefore, an average man can go to any length or take any risk just to be able to provide for those individuals dear to him.
It is just in a man’s nature to provide; hence, when a man really cares about a woman; he has that great desire to provide for her. However, some women take advantage of this particular male nature, to exploit gullible men.
Also, due to the instinct of men (to protect), men are always willing to sacrifice in order to protect others (especially women). This is the reason most men instinctively jump in to help a woman in distress and why a lot of men (Gerald not inclusive), play the knight in shining armour to girls—trying to save them from a supposedly toxic relationship or a bad boyfriend.
So, I think the reason Mother Nature programmed men to be risk takers is to be able to protect and provide efficiently in a very competitive world.
And it is because of this particular instinct of men to provide and protect that some woke modern women wail patriarchy and chivalry.
However, most men can’t just help it because that’s the way most animal males were programmed by nature.
Women: Non-Risk Takers
On the other hand, women are not natural risk takers. They always tend to go for the safer option.
Now, it is a known fact that women are involved in 80% of reproduction. The truth is, a man’s role in reproduction is very little compared to a woman’s role.
Therefore, for the maximum survival of species; females need to be safe. And the best way to be safe is to avoid taking unnecessary risks.
For instance, if a man impregnates a woman and dies before the child is born; the child still has a high rate to survive as long as the woman is alive.
However, if a woman dies when she’s still pregnant; the child dies with her. Even if the woman dies immediately after giving birth; the child still has a low survival chance when left alone with the father.
Hence, to ensure the survival of species, Nature made females to avoid risks and programmed males to take more risks in order to be able to provide and protect women.
In other words, nature made men expendable. Don’t be sad bro; nature actually doesn’t care about your feelings. Its main concern is that the strongest organisms survive and balance in Nature is maintained.
However, where you will see the risk taking instincts of a woman is when it comes to protecting her children. It’s called the Mother’s Instinct. Most mothers would take any risk and go to any length just to protect and provide for her children.
So, see how the world works:
Men are programmed by Nature to protect and provide for Women. Nature now programmed women to protect at all costs her children (the next generation).
And because of this; men will continue to sacrifice and die for women, while women will continue to sacrifice and die for their children. That’s just the way it is. You cannot fight Nature; you’ll always lose.
Even from infancy, you could notice how most little girls play safer; while the boys engage in scarier and riskier games. This is to tell you that this behavior is internally wired; and not necessarily learned.
Effect of Risk Taking In Choosing of Mates In Both Genders
Since men are natural risk takers; they usually prefer women who few or no men have explored to women many men have explored—especially for a serious relationship.
Therefore, when a girl tells a guy she has never had a boyfriend before. His male instinct won’t make him wonder why a 22 yr old pretty girl has never had a boyfriend before.
Like, is she crazy? What has been chasing guys away from her?
No, an average guy won’t think about the risks as long as the girl in question is pretty. All that his male risk taking instinct will tell him is that if he’s able to get this girl; he has done what no man has done yet. Then, his attraction and determination to get the girl even increases.
Most ladies know this instinctively; this is the reason they usually use the ‘I’m still a virgin,’ or ‘I’ve never done this before,’ or ‘You’re the first guy I’m ever doing this with ever,’ and similar lines to get a guy more interested in them.
However, this is not the same for women. In fact, the reverse is the case. Women go for safer men as mates because they are not risk takers.
Now, the easiest way for a woman to know if a guy is safe is if he has already being validated by other women.
And herein lies the reason ladies are naturally more attracted to men who are attached (those in a serious relationship or married men), than men who are unattached (the single and still searching men).
This is also one the reasons side-chicks and mistresses are never going out of vogue, no matter how the society tries so hard to use criticism against it.
The thing is, when a woman (especially a single one) sees an attractive man who is already attached to a woman; her non risk-taking female instinct communicates to her subconsciously that since a fellow woman has vetted him; then he is a safe option.
And she develops attraction for him. Although, some women would resist that attraction with all the self-discipline they got because of backlash from the society.
However, the fact still remains that women feel more attracted to an attached man than a single man.
Again, this is not their fault; it’s just the way Nature programmed them.
Even when ladies are considering single men as mates; they usually go for men who their female instincts mark as safer. That is, those men they see that other women are also attracted to.
Women go for men who act confident around them; while they reject men who act nervous.
Why? Well, the thing is, instinctively, a woman knows that confidence is usually a result of success. Hence, if a man is so confident around her that means he has had previous success with other women in the past.
And he could only do that because women are attracted to him which makes him less risky; so she becomes more open to accepting him as mate.
On the other hand, when a man acts nervous around a girl, it communicates to the girl that the guy hasn’t had much success with women. And that means, girls are not really attracted to him—which means that there must be something wrong with him. Hence, she rejects him.
Now, women don’t think all these things this way; rather it comes to them as a gut-feeling. Around a confident man, women feel relaxed while nervous guys gives girls the creeps. And women usually follow their feeling, so they react to men according to how they make them feel.
But when it comes to men, the opposite is usually the case. Most men are usually intimated by an overly confident girl and usually feel more comfortable with girls who are a bit nervous around them.
Ladies go after popular men.
If you passed through secondary and university environment; you must have noticed the kind of massive female attention popular guys commanded. I don’t want to even mention male celebrities. So why is this so? Well, you could still trace it to this non risk taking instinct of females.
The thing is, when a girl sees a guy who so many other attractive women want; it communicates to her subconscious mind that since her fellow girls want this guy; then he is actually a safer option as a mate. And she develops attraction for the guy.
However, it is not the same for men. An average guy is usually scared of a popular girl. You know, a lady who commands the attention of a lot of men. Especially men, who he thinks are higher in status than him.
Even a girl who usually gets a lot of reactions on social media scares a lot of guys. Men usually prefer a girl who has fewer male friends.
So, when a woman meets a single man she likes; she usually tries to know if he has had previous success with women to attain if he is risky or not.
Hence, women might ask a man certain questions to determine this. Some of these questions include;
- How many girls have you dated before?
- Are you in a relationship?
- So, how is your girlfriend?
- Why are you single? Is it that you don’t want to date or you’ve not found the one?
- So tell me, when last did you have sex? …etc.
I’m sure you’ve probably being asked one or more of these questions. Now, you know the reason behind those questions.
And if your answers show the lady, you’ve not really had success with women previously; her attraction for you fades. Women can’t help it; it’s just a natural something.
Men are natural risk takers. Hence, they prefer to do things no man or few men have done. This means that men are naturally attracted to women who they perceive as being inexperienced or less experienced than them.
However, since women are not risk takers. They usually go for what other women have validated. This means that women are naturally attracted to men who they perceive to have had past success with other women. Men who they think are more experienced compared to them.
Therefore, if you want women to get more attracted to you; show them qualities which suggests you’re experienced and have had previous success with women.
And if you’re a woman and you want more men to get attracted to you; show qualities which suggest you’re a bit inexperienced compared to them.
Next time on the series, I’ll talk about another difference between the two genders, which is the polygamous and hypergamous nature of men and women respectively.
Till then, stay safe.
About the Author: Gerald Dike
Gerald Dike is the founder of Relationship Strategies For Men. He has helped thousands of men have better interactions and healthy relationships with women of their dreams. He is also an entrepreneur in one of the biggest countries in Africa.
You can grab his new Book here==> The Attractive Man: How to Become the Man Who Women Desire And Chase