The first date tips

How to Give Her the Best First Date She has Ever Had

The First Date Strategies:


So, finally that lady you admire a lot has agreed to go on a date with you. You’re a bit nervous, you want to make a good first impression. Lol. I got you bro!  I have some first date strategies for you.


But before we start, you have to know this;

She agreed to go on a date with you means that she likes you already and is interested in knowing more about you.

So relax bro; you don’t have to try to get her to like you; she already does. All you have to do is to create a positive emotional connection with her. In other words, make her leave the first date with a good feeling about you. That’s what this post will reveal to you.



Always try to make your first date simple. That means don’t choose an expensive or over exotic venues for the first date. Don’t splash too much cash on the first date.


Firstly, when you choose an expensive restaurant, you’re just putting the girl into unnecessary pressure. She will want to be reserved and be on her best behavior, in order to keep up with the caliber of the restaurant and the people in it. She won’t be herself, and that’s really not a good thing. You’ll want a lady to feel comfortable the first time she’s on a date with you. Trust me.

On the other hand, if you take her to a simple but yet cool place like a fast food, park, or quiet lounge; she’ll feel more relaxed and express her true self more.

Before I discovered this strategy, I usually took girls to really posh venues on the first date. Looking back now, I realize that it didn’t actually work out with 60% of girls I took to those really expensive venues. However, I was successful with 90% of ladies I took to average cool venues.


Secondly, it’s not wise to spend so much money on a lady you’re just getting to know. There’re still chances she might get disinterested in you along the line. Now if that happens, when you remember how much you invested on the first date, you become more determined to make her yours, leading to you chasing her and appearing desperate. And if you’re a regular on this blog, you already know ladies don’t respond positively to desperation.

However, if you spent averagely and later it didn’t work out. You’ll easily move on to another girl.  So, keep your first dates simple.

Now let’s get to those first date strategies.

giving her the best first date

How to Make a Good First Impression on the First date with Any Lady and Make Her Want You


Arrive at least 5 mins before the agreed time, pick a table and wait for her (that’s if you two decided on meeting in a venue maybe a restaurant or a fast food) Same applies if you’re picking her up at her home, come before the agreed time…if she’s not yet ready. YOU wait for her.

Try to be a gentleman my bro. Lol

This punctuality act tells the lady you really value her and want to be there. Moreover, you don’t really want to start your first date with apologies. So never keep a lady waiting on the first date.




The FIRST thing the lady is probably going to notice about you, during the date is your appearance. So, dress to impress. Put on a nice cloth, trim your beards (if they’re unkempt), wear a nice cologne plus other appropriate accessories like watches, googles and the rest (anyone that works for you) and most importantly be CLEAN.

I have interviewed about 65 ladies asking them “the thing that’s an instant turn off for them in a man on the first date” 80% of them said it was dirtiness and odour (mouth and body). So good grooming is highly essential!

the first date tips for men

look good, be clean and smell good



This is very VITAL.

Generally, ladies are drawn to guys that have confidence and charisma. This might be because they want a guy that can take care of situations…Someone they can rely on. This is the main reason ladies are often attracted to the so called “Bad guys”. Most of the guys might be serious jerks but they do sure have self-confidence.

So my man, if you lack confidence, you have a high tendency of ending up in the FRIEND ZONE.


Good news is that everybody can learn to become confident, because CONFIDENCE is a SKILL.

So the more you practice it, the better you become at it.

Fake confidence until you actually become confident.

In other words, you can develop genuine confidence as you behave like a confident man.

Another important thing you have to know is that confidence is 67% body language and 23% tone of voice and 10% speech. As you can see WHAT you say in the first date doesn’t really matter much like HOW you say it and most importantly how you ACT around her on the first date.

This leads us to the next point



There are certain body movements you will make on the first date that would leave a really good lasting impression about you on her. Some of them are:


  • Smile. Try to smile at her as much as possible during the date. It doesn’t cost a thing actually. If you’re ashamed to reveal your teeth, I advise you to do something about it ASAP. So you can be smiling freely. Smiling would make her feel more at ease and it’s really contagious too.

So if you’re smiling, she’s probably going to be smiling too. Also, try to form your smile more slowly. Smiles that are formed more slowly looks more genuine than those formed so fast. This doesn’t mean you should be smiling from the start of the date to the end.

No bro! Only Smile when it’s necessary. For instance, if she’s telling you how it was so painful when she lost a close relative, you shouldn’t be smiling nii. Common sense is always needed.


  • Eye contact. Always try to make an eye contact with her when you two are having a conversation. Try to maintain eye contact with her when she’s talking to you, then you could break eye contact momentarily as you’re the one talking.

I know you might feel the urge to look at her boobs (especially if she’s really endowed). And I also know most guys are in the “Brezz gang” just like me. Hahaha! However, try to resist this urge (at least for the first date). You can glance at it for a split second (man no be firewood). However, don’t stare at it for so long, it’ll be creepy.

Most ladies find it disrespectful on the first date because she probably has not really gotten comfortable with you.


  • Don’t get distracted. This is a ‘No-No’, for 95% of ladies. They always want maximum attention on dates. Make her feel she’s on the spot light. So don’t let your look linger at that waitress that’s serving you two or that very fine lady that just entered the restaurant. Put your phone on silent and keep it away from sight.

She’s WATCHING YOU and taking notes. Stay woke Fellas!

These three are the basic body movements, there are others though, but if you do these ones, you’re good to go (for now).

the first date tips

make eye contact and smile when she is talking of something interesting about herself, it will encourage her to talk more about herself

Now the next tip is about the speech aspect; what to say, the conversation topics and so on.  Are you ready? Good, let’s go!


5) SPEECH. Most ladies really like talking about themselves. They feel so good talking about themselves.

So all you have to do, is to ask her questions that will make her talk about herself more, listen to her, then from what she says, you manufacture more questions. So simple, you don’t have to talk much. Just ask the right questions and listen, then ask again.

I hope you’re still with me bro? Awesome.


Now, it’s usually best to start the first date with a compliment.

If you’ve read my post; “the right way to compliment a lady on the first date”, you’ll understand why this is really necessary.

I usually advise you to combine the compliment with a question;

For example:

You could say…

“Your dress sense is really amazing, where did you develop such a cool dress sense?”

This question will make her talk more about herself from the start of date (as you can see you’ve already made her start investing in you more immediately, by talking more)


Always try using Open-ended questions.

You might be asking what exactly are open ended questions? These are questions that begin with a pronoun or adverb. Words such as how, when, what, where, who, and which. These questions are called ‘open-ended’ because they cannot usually be answered with just “yes” or “no” (we all know “yes” or “no” answers kill conversation vibes).

They require more elaborate answers. These answers, now help you to know more about her interests and likes, and these answers would help you to know what you will talk more on, during the date.

So pay attention to her answers.

On the other hand, avoid starting the date with “Close-ended” questions. Close-ended questions always begin with verbs, such as “are, is and do”.  They normally end with a simple Yes or No answer.

They’re conversation killers. So avoid it while trying to start and keep a conversation going.

For example:

Instead of asking “Do you like watching TV shows?” which will obviously end with just a yes or no answer.

Now, you can rephrase the above question as an open-ended question like this;

“What TV shows do you enjoy watching?

If she now mentions any TV show you know, you can now focus on that and talk more about it or if you are not familiar with any that she mentioned, you can now ask her to tell you more about a particular one she mentioned.


I hope you understood the format?

Good! You can formulate hundreds of interesting questions that initiates a cool gist with this format.

Okay! Let’s hop onto the next one right away!



By now, you know that you should maintain eye contact when she’s talking to you.

Also, between discussions you can also interrupt her at the right time with phrases like “uhh really”, “that’s interesting”, “that’s cool”, “Wow!”, “I understand” and so on.

Lemme illustrate this further using an example


Me:…So Cynthia, when you’re feeling bored, what do you do for fun?

Cynthia: Emmm… I like to watch TV, surf the internet, listen to music and I also dance.

Me: Uhh really! You dance? That’s interesting (you see how I added those phrases?)

Cynthia: Yea, I do. It’s a great way I use in relieving stress.

Me: That’s really cool. That’s a great way to reveal stress. Personally, I relieve stress by listening to music while working out (see how I switched to talking about myself, so that the conversation wouldn’t be that “one sided”)

Now pay attention, how I’ll switch it back to her.

Me: …working out. So tell me, what’s like, your 3 favourite dance moves? (You see it?)

Cynthia: Hmmm, this is a hard one though… I love almost all the dance moves.

Me: Hahahaha… Just choose any three jare.

Cynthia: Okay, let’s see… Azonto, slow whine and emmm… Twerking.

Me: Wow! Finally, thank God I found you. I’ve been looking for someone to teach me how to twerk, though I got absolutely no ass to shake, but I still love the dance style. I hope you’ll teach me? (Now did you see how I added a lil humor plus compliment about her being good enough to be my dance tutor?)

You see how the above conversation was flowing… Your conversation with her won’t flow if you are not asking the right questions and LISTENING to what she’s saying. It’s from what she said that you can bring up subsequent questions and gist.




Ladies including the introvert ones don’t like boring guys. Have something interesting to say, maybe a good gist or an adventure. If you’re good at narrating stories, that’s really a plus for you because ladies love story telling; EVERYBODY loves stories.

Remember to add some humour in the stories. Ladies love guys with a good sense of humour. However, use the humour wisely, or else you might be slotted into the Comedian/Entertainer kinda guy. Trust me bro, that’s not good for you.

Bonus Hint:

  • Topics most girls find boring; football, money, cars, politics, wrestling etc
  • Topics most girls find interesting; love, romance, celebrity gossips & other person”s gossip (esp someone they don’t like), their dreams and aspirations, sex etc
  • Topics you should always try to avoid on the first date; Feminism, Religious views, Strong Political views. The reason is that these topics usually lead to arguments which could give you two negative feelings, especially if she’s someone who holds tightly to her views. Deviate from those topic until you’ve a hint on her views on such topics.
  • Avoid arguments generally on the first date. You can’t actually win an argument; it’s either you win the argument and lose the girl, or you lose the argument and keep the girl. Personally, that’s a lose-lose situation, because you don’t want to be losing to a girl from the first date. That shows weakness; and if you win the argument, her self-esteem will be hit leaving her with bad feelings, that’s not good too. So just avoid arguments.

Example on how to avoid arguments.

Her: Do you believe it’s ONLY a woman’s role to be cooking, and doing the house chores? Isn’t that unfair when most women are now earning even more than most men.

You:[Chuckles] You just sounded like Chimamanda now. You know one thing I love about Chimamanda is those her long sexy legs. I just have these weakness for long legs {you say this while looking at her legs — that is if she has long legs though]

You: Tell me, what’s your own weakness? What attracted you to me?

Her: Look at this one ooh; who told you I was attracted you

And that’s how you avoid arguments like a boss!



This character really pisses most ladies off. This is when you are too confident, you’re cocky to be precise.

When trying to talk about yourself (because if the date is going well, she would obviously want to know more about you), always try to mix a bit of humility and confidence.

Let’s take a look at the illustration below;


Lady: So Mike, what do you do for a living?

Mike: Baby girl, I am a very rich guy oo. I have businesses all over the country; Abuja, Lagos, Calabar…name it!!!…and soon I am going international.

I pay salaries to over hundred people monthly…I also sponsor a lot of poor children in school.  I am fulfilled man.


This is really bad. Don’t brag to women. Always be humble and a bit mysterious when talking about yourself with women.

Let’s see an example of what I mean


Lady: So what do you do for a living?


Paul: I’m an entrepreneur. I solve people’s problem for a living. (He said this so casually while smiling)

As you can see he added a little bit of mystery to it, because he didn’t say the kind of people’s problem he’s actually solving. This mystery will probably rise the lady’s curiousity.


Lady: What kind of problems?

Paul: Any problem. As long as the person is willing to pay. Lol

Lady: So can you solve mine?

Paul: Yea. That’s if you’re willing to pay. Hehehehe


As you can see the latter conversation is more thrilling and entertaining.  Mike sounds arrogant while Paul sounds confident, mysterious and humble.

Be Like Paul, don’t be like Mike.



Pay attention to this particular strategy. How well you carry out this one, will determine if the girl will end up being your girlfriend/lover or just as a friend (friend zone).

So what’s flirting?

It’s simply the ways you show a girl that you’re physically attracted to her. A way to tell her that you don’t just want to be her friend, you want something more. It’s interesting to note that, naturally women are better flirts than men.

Flirting with a girl on the first date is a MUST. Don’t be like “Nice guys” who are scared to flirt with girls on the first date.

Personally, I start my own flirting immediately I approach a lady. This is a way I use to make my intentions very clear to her from the start.

Intentions that scream “Hey lady, I’m not here to be your friend”

Now, I know you’re asking yourself. “How do you flirt with a lady on the first date?”


It all starts with how close you two stay from each other on the first date. Always make sure, she sits or stands close to you right from the start of the date. So close that you can easily touch her when talking, without it being awkward. Most times, ladies wait for you to tell them where to sit, so don’t be scared to tell her to sit very close to you.


Another way to flirt with her is by touching her.

I’ll advise you to stay off touching her heavily on the first date. I mean touching her on her ass, waist or breast. You can do that as you two start getting comfortable with each other.

But for the first date you’ll stick with ‘light touches.’ Touch her on her upper arms, elbow, knee area, fingers, wrist and so on.

However, you won’t just touch her suddenly, that’ll be weird. You’ve to touch her as you make points, to make it reasonable.

For example:

  • You could compliment her that she’s wearing a nice watch, and as you say that you hold the arm she’s wearing that watch on and act as if your admiring the watch.
  • Or you could tell her she has such lovely finger nails as you take her palm and admire those finger nails.
  • Or you’re telling her a story with a little bit of suspense and as you ask her: “Can you guess what happened next?” as you place your hands on her knee region.

Do you grab the format now? Beautiful!


Eye contact is another way of flirting with girls. Eye contacts are always sexy.

So learn how to hold a girl’s gaze when she’s talking to you, and when to look away so that it won’t be that creepy. Also give her those sexy stares.


Sexual humour is another bad-ass way of flirting with women. This when you add subtly sexual things to the conversation.

For example:

You: So dear, what would you like to take

Her: Shawarma won’t be bad.

You: Do you want MY Shawarma? It could actually save us some cost [you say this with a mischievous facial expression]

Another example:

Her: Ewww!!! I don’t like cats.

You: I’m not with you on this Hun, because I’m not gay, and I definitely gatz to love PUSSY cats.

Sexual humour is usually best when it’s subtle, and it’s usually best when you couple it with the right facial expressions and body language. Most girls decode it, but few of them might not. However, sexual humour is a necessity for every guy to have up his sleeve.

There are other dozen ways to flirt with girls, however this one will be okay for you now for the first date.

the first date strategies

Example of the sexy look which you could use when hitting her with the sexual humour

Now, to the final strategy;



When you two are ready to go. Offer to pay the bills (whether she’s a feminist or not). If she insists on paying, let her pay. Take her back to her home, if you came with a car.

If you don’t have a car, get a cab or UBER or Keke (anyone you can afford, don’t form above your means).

Make sure you call her asking her if she arrived safely, you can also add that you really enjoyed yourself and would love to go out with her another time (this is very optional). This act will make her feel that you really care about her safety and that you’re responsible man worth having a relationship with.



After the first date make sure you schedule for the second date within 48 hours. Don’t waste time with women. Do all these well and any lady would grant you a second date and would already want to date you or else she is a Karashika!!! Hahahaha


Cheers to amazing first dates,


Read next: How to get a Girlfriend Effortlessly 

About the Author: Gerald Dike

Gerald Dike is the founder of Relationship Strategies For Men. He has helped thousands of men have better interactions and healthy relationships with women of their dreams. He is also an entrepreneur in one of the biggest countries in Africa.

You can grab his new Book here==> The Attractive Man: How to Become the Man Who Women Desire And Chase

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