Don’t Chase Females Bro!
I say don’t chase women? How then are you supposed to get girls to be yours? Relax, I’ll explain what I mean.
Let’s say you approached this girl you really like and she gave you her number. Or maybe your hit her in the DM and she responded positively and gave you her number.
You’re so happy and excited. So you start calling her every time.
Like 4 or more times every day. You’re “always” chatting her up.
Hitting her up with the “hi’s” “how are you’s” “how was your day’s” and so on.
I know you just want to appear to be a caring, nice guy.
So that she might want to make you her boyfriend.
I understand bro.
But the truth is that if the girl was initially attracted to you, her attraction for you will fade as you start doing all those things (Unless she really really really likes you)
When you’re doing all those things. Like calling her so much, texting her so much, trying to spend time with her so much doing friendly and nice things with her (this is known as “chasing” her by the way).
In her mind, she sees these gestures as thus;
“This guy is always hitting me up, so there are no other options for him.
That means Ladies don’t really like him. Then something must be wrong with him”
Trust me, that’s a red flag for most ladies.
Don’t Chase: It Communicates Desperation
The fact is, ladies want a man who has many options of ladies available to him, but still has eyes only for her. A man who a lot of ladies want, but he still wants her. It makes them feel special; and not a man, who no girl wants but he wants her.
They want a man, who other girls would be envious of her because he is her man; and not a man, who other girls would be ridiculing her about.
You calling her every time, texting her every time, spending too much time with her immediately you met her, tells her you have no other lady in your life other than her.
In other words, you’re not an attractive man, rather you’re a desperate man.
I want you to think about all the girls you started calling and texting too much immediately you met them.
How did it turn out for you? You didn’t get a positive response from them abi?
Maybe you saw yourself in the Friend zone or even worse the “Mugu zone”
Do you blame her?
If someone starts chasing you. What would you do? You’ll definitely start running.
So when you start chasing girls. They start running away from you.
They run away from you by; hitting you with the one word replies, replying you late, totally ignoring your texts and calls, avoiding to go out on a date with you by giving you flimsy excuses and so on.
Therefore, don’t chase girls!
The best approach is to show her you’re interested in her, however you still have other options.
So how can you do this?
I’ll reveal that to you in this post. But first I’ve to tell you something.
Girls Love the Feeling of being Chased
In other words, Ladies love to be chased!
They love that feeling of having so much inbox messages from guys that likes them. It makes them feel desirable and more attractive.
It also makes them feel more secure, having all these guys on the sideline. Guys that they can always call on favor, and know they will probably grant them those favors.
In fact, it is the same for guys. Personally, I feel really good when pretty girls are chasing me, seeking for my attention. And if a girl (who’s fine) has sought for your attention before, you’ll have an idea of the feeling girls derive from being chased by men.
It’s the same feeling for ladies, even more.
So, they love it when all these random dudes are calling them on phone.
Even though they might ignore some of those calls. However, they still love the fact that they’re lots of guys out there that desire them.
They love to see their inbox so swamped with messages from different guys.
Even though they won’t reply most of them. They still enjoy the fact that their inbox is on fire.
You might hear them complaining sometimes, that there’s this guy that’s always disturbing them on WhatsApp or Fb Messenger. Then you ask yourself, why don’t they just block the guy?
You see? They love to be chased.
Now, here is where guys fuck up.
That ladies love to be chased, does not mean they like or would want to date guys who are chasing them.
She might like the fact that you’re chasing her, but that doesn’t mean she likes you.
Good! So don’t chase girls.
Never Wait on the Sideline: Don’t Chase
So the first thing I want you to decide today is to never be that guy that’s waiting on the sideline for any lady. Don’t be the guy they ignore his calls and texts.
Rather, be that guy they expect and hope for his call and texts. Be the main player on the pitch and never the substitute. No matter, how pretty or flawless you think she is.
You’re enough, man. You’re worthy of being the main guy.
So, whenever you notice you’re being sidelined by a lady, you walk away immediately.
- When you notice a girl is always hitting you with one word replies, stop texting her immediately.
- If you notice a girl ain’t picking your calls and she doesn’t return those calls, stop calling her. Don’t chase her by bugging her with more calls.
- If you’ve asked a lady out on a date more than once and she declined, giving you flimsy excuses. Don’t ask her again. Let her go!
Now we’re clear on that. Let’s move on.
HOW TO SHOW A LADY YOU’RE INTERESTED IN HER WITHOUT CHASING HER
So when you meet a girl newly this what you should do:
You should ONLY use phone calls and text to get to know her a little, but most importantly to make plans for an offline date.
And not for telling her how much you love her and would want to date her. Or how she’s the most beautiful creature walking on earth. You leave that for the offline date.
So, there was this girl I met at the mall last week. (Yeah, I love meeting girls at the mall, I just don’t know why)
So I called her the same day I collected her number. I made sure she saved my number because I don’t really fancy explaining myself to girls when I call them on the phone for the first time.
Below is our phone call conversation:
Me: Hello Prisca
Me: How are you?
Her: I’m okay.
(She didn’t even say “and you?” she was still forming hard girl for me. Lol)
Me: That’s good… You know, you didn’t actually tell me where you stay in Enugu?
Her: I stay in Independence Lay/out.
Me: Really? And you came to the mall from there? Isn’t it that far?
Her: Yea. It’s a bit far. But I trust the quality of goods in the mall.
Me: Ohh! That’s cool. A quality lady with a quality taste. I like that.
(She laughed, and that’s a good thing)
Me: Anyway, I just wanted to know how your voice sounds through the phone.
And it’s really pleasant to my ears.
Her: Lol. Thank you
Me: Is this your Whatsapp number?
Her: Yea, this is my Whatsapp number.
Me: Cool, I’ll hit you up tomorrow. It was really a pleasure meeting you today, Prisca.
Her: Same here.
Analysis: I just used the phone call to know a bit about her (where she stays), and to clear the way for smooth texting.
So the next day, actually in the evening. I texted her.
(Note that, I have just called her once since I collected her number).
Me: Hey Prisca. It’s Gerald the guy you met at the mall yesterday.
Me: How was your day?
Her: It was fine, yours? (As you can see she has started cooperating by asking about mine too)
Me: It was a lil bit stressful. But we thank God shaa. So how’s Independence Lay/out. Very quiet and cool as usual, right?
Her: Yea, exactly.
Me: So how long have you lived in Enugu?
Her: All my life.
Me: Jeez! Seriously? Why?
Her: My parents o. They always want me around them.
Me: Heyya. Are you the last child?
Me: Lol. I thought as much. But you have visited other states, right?
Her: Yea. I’ve visited a lot of states actually like Lagos, PH, Abuja and the rest. However, I’ve not actually lived in any of them.
Me: That’s cool. At least look at the positive side. It’s Enugu you’ve lived all your life and not Borno.
Her: Hahaha. That’s true though.
Me: I hope your parents do allow you to go out on a date?
Her: Lol. Yea. Why are you asking?
Me: I want to take you out on a date. Would you be free tomorrow?
Her: I don’t think I’ll be free tomorrow.
(This one na forming, she’ll be free)
Me: Okay, so when would you be free this week? Coz next week I’ll be so swamped up with work.
(I said that because, I didn’t want her to postpone it to next week. That’s time wasting: Remember: Always Move Fast with New Girls)
Her: Let’s see how next tomorrow goes then.
Me: Awesome. I’ll call you tomorrow to confirm then.
Me: Goodnight dear. I’m so tired, lemme catch some sleep.
Her: Okay, goodnight.
Analysis: I used the text to know a little bit about her, while I asked her on a date immediately. If I wasted time trying to know everything about her through text, what then are we going to discuss on our first date?
So, the following day, I called her in the evening and confirmed the date. Told her the venue and I let her choose the time which would be best for her.
Then I hit her with the first date strategies. The rest they say is history!
So when you meet a girl newly, don’t call her too much or text her too much — don’t chase her. Just use it to arrange for an offline date. Then hit her with those first date strategies.
When Girls Flake, Keep Your Cool; Don’t Chase
Sometimes, some of the girls cancel on me–they flake. That is, on the day of the date, they might call and cancel the date due to one or two reasons.
I don’t get mad. Rather, I genuinely sympathize with whatever reason they give to me. Most times, they reschedule the date; picking another day.
But if they don’t. I don’t chat or call them again.
Why? Because I don’t chase girls…I chase my goals instead; and if any lady wants me to chase her in order to prove my love for her, it simply means she’s not the one for me. Period!
So, if this happens to you, keep your cool.
Allow the lady to reschedule the date herself. Don’t chase her by begging or asking her when next she’ll be free.
If she likes you, she would reschedule the date. If she doesn’t reschedule, let her be. She’s not worth the stress. Trust me on that.
And even if a girl goes out on a date with me, and on the second date (or a third date for a girl I really really like) and she’s still not cooperating the way I like. I’ll stop giving her my attention immediately.
THINGS NOT TO DO WHEN YOU MEET A NEW GIRL
These are the things you should really avoid when wooing a lady:
- Don’t call her too much.
- Avoid texting her too much.
- Don’t spend time with her too much doing “friend” things (like shopping, going out to eat…).
- Avoid spending too much cash on her
- Don’t try to help or do favors for her
When she eventually becomes your girlfriend, and you’re sure she’s your girlfriend (and you’re not just dating yourself). Then you can do all the above for her. But not when you’re still wooing her.
Now, it will really help you if she’s not the only woman you’re wooing in your life.
That’s why I always advise guys to approach lots of women. When you now find one you like and who likes you too, then you concentrate on her and let others go (that’s if you’re looking for a girlfriend)
But never obsess over a particular lady, who’s not your girl yet.
When you have lots of women you’re talking to in your life, you won’t notice one or two, who are ignoring you.
Don’t chase any woman.
Whenever you meet a woman you like; always be bold, move fast and take risks with them.
Always make your intention clear and known from the start, and when it’s clear that both of your interests don’t align, you let her go immediately.
Don’t stay around in her life begging, waiting and hoping that she finally changes her mind and accepts you.
90% of the time, it does not happen.
Don’t chase bro! Don’t do that again.
To your dating success,
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About the Author: Gerald Dike
Gerald Dike is the founder of Relationship Strategies For Men. He has helped thousands of men have better interactions and healthy relationships with women of their dreams. He is also an entrepreneur in one of the biggest countries in Africa.
You can grab his new Book here==> The Attractive Man: How to Become the Man Who Women Desire And Chase