Men and Women are very Different
The thing is, a lot of people are ignorant of the several differences between males and females. Some people think that the only difference between men and women are in their physical strength and morphological features.
Nothing could be farther from the truth. There are quite a lot of differences between the two genders especially in their psychology. You know, the way they see, think and interpret things differs.
The fact is, most of the misunderstanding between men and women especially in relationships originate from the fact that they usually misunderstand each other.
A man would be frustrated why his woman can’t just see things in his own point of view while his woman would be frustrated why her man doesn’t seem to understand her.
The problem is that most men only view the world through a man’s eyes while most women only view the world through a woman’s eyes.
However, if you could just take a moment and be selfless enough to see the world through women’s eyes; you’ll understand them better. And if women saw the world through our eyes too they would understand us better.
So I decided to do a series, titled “Differences Between Men and Women,” with the hope that after the series the both gender might understand each other better.
In this first part of the series, I’ll be talking about the different biological instincts of men and women. But before if I go on, let’s look at the definition of biological instinct.
According to dictionary[dot]com:
Biological instinct is an inborn pattern of activity or tendency to action common to a given biological species.
In other words, biological instinct is a programmed behavior of an organism. And the programmer is Mother Nature.
For instance, one of the biological instincts of wild cats (lions, tigers, etc) is to hunt and kill other animals (preys) for food. It is in their instinct to be a predator.
And even if you take a cub of a lion from its environment and keep it as a pet while feeding it only milk and vegetarian foods; the day the cub tastes warm and fresh blood, it will know (through its biological instincts) that this is what it was supposed to be eating, and it would never go back to eating what you raised it with.
That’s the power of biological instincts.
Now that we’ve understood a little about biological instincts; let’s now take a look at the biological instincts of women.
The Biological Instincts of Women
Since the most important need of any specie is to survive and reproduce its young ones, the main biological instinct of humans are linked to reproduction.
Hence, the main biological instincts of a woman is to mate and carry the seed of the most dominant male accessible to her and then get a provider male to commit to her; a male who can provide the needed securities for her offspring to survive.
This means that naturally women are sexually attracted to dominant males.
Now, who is a dominant male?
Dominance means success. Therefore, dominant men are successful men; men who have dominated their fields and niches. Males who are good at what they do.
These are the type of men, nature has programmed women to carry their children in their womb. These are the sort of men, ladies see and their ovaries start jumping up and down, shouting “Uncle, I!”
The Biological Instincts of a Man
Now that we’ve seen one of the main biological instincts of females; let us now look at that of males. Shall we? Good.
One of the major biological instincts of males is to spread his genes to quality females who could give him healthy offspring.
Quality females mean fertile women. And one of the major signs which indicate that a woman is fertile to an average male’s mind is her physical appearance. The more feminine a woman body is, the more, men perceive her as a fertile lady who would give them quality and strong children.
Effect of Biological Instincts on Women’s Attraction
As I mentioned earlier; it is due to this particular biological instinct of females which makes women feel so much attraction for successful men. Men who are dominant in their different fields of life.
That is why as early as nursery and primary school; a lot of girls were attracted to the brilliant boys. Those boys dominated their class by taking the top positions in the classroom. Those boys were successful in those girls’ eyes.
Therefore, if you’re among the top persons in your field, automatically, girls would be attracted to you; whether you’re an artist, musician, business man, career person, footballer, etc.
As long as you’re successful in whatever you do (even if it’s in the activities of the ozza room) a lot of girls would be attracted to you because it’s in their biological instinct to do so.
Important Note: Having money doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a dominant male. You can still have a lot of money and still be a regular joe. There’s a particular attitude which successful/dominant males posses and women could instinctively detect it. And it is that attitude and aura of those men which actually stimulate that attraction in women.
Just as Falz said in the song “Daz How Star Do”
“The style is in the attitude. Is not just earrings and tattoo.”
Same way that dominance/success is in the attitude. Is not just about having money and expensive toys.
The Plot Twist
Now, here is the tricky part. The thing is, these males with dominant attitudes usually have a lot of options with women (since many women are naturally attracted to them and want them as mate). Just take top musicians, actors and footballers as examples. You see, A LOT of options.
So, women know instinctively that it would be hard to get these men to commit solely to them and provide adequate securities for them and their children. Securities such as financial and emotional security.
However, since their main biological instinct is to mate with the most dominant males; most girls intentionally seek out and have fun with these dominant attractive men during their primes (19-25yrs).
And when their instinct tells them is time to settle down; that is, be in a serious committed relationship and raise children; they usually leave these dominant men and go for the average guy who has a good income to raise a family and who is also safe—that is, he would be there regularly for her and the children as a father figure unlike the dominant males.
This means that a woman could settle for a lesser dominant/attractive man who is safer, over a more dominant/attractive man who is unstable for a long term relationship; even though she feels more attraction for the latter.
Well, like the saying goes, “Women could accept to be with the wrong guy if the right one isn’t available.”
And sometimes, some women do enter these marriages pregnant with the other man’s child—usually the more dominant guy. This is the reason quite a number of firstborns of men in the society are not biologically theirs.
It is not women’s fault shaa; it’s just the way nature programmed them.
Effect of Biological Instincts on Men’s Attraction
Due to the primary instinct of men which pushes us to seek out quality females; we’re highly visual when it comes to attraction. In simpler words, what attracts a man to a woman is mainly her physical attributes.
A good character/personality of a woman might keep a man. True. However, the main thing which attracts a man to the woman in the first place is her physical appearance.
Therefore, a gorgeous voluptuous lady with a bad character will attract more dominant men than that weird looking lady with the character of Mother Theresa.
It’s just simple as that.
Men from experience have also found out that women are attracted to successful men. And for a man to easily get access to quality and gorgeous women; he has to become a dominant/successful man.
Herein, lies the biggest motivation of men to succeed in life:
“To get access to gorgeous women and keep them.”
On the other hand, women have also found out that men are more attracted to gorgeous and more feminine ladies. And for a lady to have access to more successful/dominant men; she has to become more gorgeous and physically appealing.
Hence, it is due to the both genders’ primary instincts that men are usually more motivated to be successful and dominant in life than their female counterparts; while women are more motivated to look physically attractive than men.
That is why when you talk about how to get more successful; men would be more interested. And when you talk about how to get prettier and look beautiful; women would more interested.
Effect of Biological Instincts on Desire For Commitment and Sex Among Both Genders
As you now know, a woman’s primary instinct is to mate and carry the seed of the most dominant male accessible to her and then get a provider male to COMMIT to her; a male who can provide the needed securities for her offspring to survive.
This means that biologically, women are wired to seek for commitment.
On the other hand, since a man’s primary instinct is to spread his genes to quality females who could give him healthy offspring; hence, men are wired to seek for sexual intimacy because it’s through sex that they can spread their genes.
Now, this doesn’t mean that men don’t seek for commitment or that women don’t seek for sex. They do, however, it’s men who are naturally wired to demand and push for sex more. While women are naturally wired to seek and push for commitment more.
This is the reason most men could comfortably have a friends-with-benefit relationship (no strings attached) with women for a long term. However, most women would start getting uncomfortable with that type of non-committed relationship as time goes on and would start demanding the guy to commit to them or they leave him entirely.
This is also the reason some men think they’re doing girls a favour by committing to them; while some women think their doing men a favour by having sex with them.
These behaviors and mindsets are all linked to the biological instincts of both genders.
You’ve to understand that in the end, human beings are animals. And just like the rest of the other animals, we’re controlled and driven by our biological instincts.
Men and women have different biological instincts which make them
- Act and behave differently.
- Desire different things in different amounts.
- See and interpret similar things differently.
For instance, women consider a man’s dominance level and social status over his looks when considering him as mate; while men consider a woman’s physical qualities over her dominance level and social status, when considering her as a mate.
It is essential that you know that the both genders are driven by different instincts. Hence, don’t ever assume again that both genders desire and want the same thing—because most times, they don’t.
Next time on the series, I’ll discuss about another difference between men and women: Risk Taking.
Till then, stay safe.
About the Author: Gerald Dike
Gerald Dike is the founder of Relationship Strategies For Men. He has helped thousands of men have better interactions and healthy relationships with women of their dreams. He is also an entrepreneur in one of the biggest countries in Africa.
You can grab his new Book here==> The Attractive Man: How to Become the Man Who Women Desire And Chase